Because ... Money.

I am job hunting.

Unfortunately it appears my hunting gear is not high enough quality. I need to get a bigger net to capture them in. Which seems unfair (gasp, life is never unfair). I have great qualifications.

I will show up on time (ish), I will not smell and I will not be drunk.

Is that not a good enough reason to hire me?
What does it matter what my life goals are?
What does it matter where I have worked before?
Why do you care where I am going to be in five years?
Or ten?

Really.

No one knows. I feel like being punished for having vague goals is not acceptable. Would I like to have a white picket fence and 2.5 children?

Not really.

Does it change anything about me that I want a library attached to a fantastic bar?

Nope.

What life choices I make have no bearing on my work ethic. I inherited my work ethic from parents who are workaholics; from siblings who are perfectionists. I used to think I had no work ethic, or that it wasn't very good. Kind of like a day old salad, edible but weirdly wilted. I maintained that belief until I got out my childhood bubble. The first job I held as an adult showed me how very wrong I was. I am not a workaholic, I am not a perfectionist, I do believe in doing things in a timely manner and correctly. I am being paid to provide a service and it behooves me to get it done to the best of my ability in the shortest amount of time as possible. It is not my right to work. I am not entitled to employment. If I am doing an unsatisfactory job then I should be fired.

This is not a commonly held view point.

If more interviews and applications asked questions along those lines I would already have a job. Instead I get questions about my life plans, of which I have none, and when I can't answer or when they see through the bullshit answers I am done. They move on to the next applicant who still believes, naively, that life will actually allow a master plan. Those poor dears. Life happens and plans fall apart. It's much easier to adapt plans if they aren't hammered down in concrete and dreams.

This is how I feel after getting the "We decided to go with a more qualified candidate, but please apply to similar positions when they are posted on our site" email.

I hate subpar service

I do not want whipped cream.
I do not want a larger size.
I do not want fries.
I do not want any of that crap.
Further more if I did want it I would tell you.
But mostly I really, really, really do not want that fucking whipped cream. NO.

This is not my first time at this establishment, but if you keep asking me asinine questions it might be my last. The last few times I've gone to Starbucks they have put whipped cream on my latte. I don't dislike whipped cream but I don't like it on my lattes. I don't really like it on anything, when I do eat whipped cream it tends to be on pumpkin pies and only on pumpkin pies. Or just a bowl of whipped cream, totally healthy.

My last visit to Starbucks was a super unpleasant experience. They said the chocolate chai latte was super good. They lied. Shit was super gross. Granted I should have known better since I haven't had a good chai latte from Starbucks ever (iced or a frappuccino is okay, but still not as good as a homemade one). Adding the chocolate, which turns out is the mocha mix, was a horrible idea. They only good mocha is either peppermint or white chocolate. The straight up mocha is disgusting (at all coffee places). Thankfully the barista was more then willing to give me a different drink for free. Unfortunately she kept asking me if I really only wanted a black coffee. Dude. Asking once makes sense, but if you keep saying "Are yous sure" it's a good way to get hot coffee thrown in your face. Yes, goddamn, I am sure. If I didn't want it why would I ask. All of the lattes are terrible, the tea is gross leaving black coffee as the only palatable menu item.

Which, quite frankly, is sad. Because everyone knows Starbucks coffee is brunt to the ninth hell. And lots of people like that. I am not a big fan, but at least the burnt taste is consistent.

Back to the bad experience. All I wanted was to sit, surf the internet and enjoy a cup of coffee. They have three outlets in the entire store, at least ones customers can reach. Someone was sitting by each one. Which is kind of douche of the people, I always thought there was some unwritten rule about not sitting by outlets unless you needed them. Guess that's just me. If you are a coffee house you really should have more than three outlets. Like, really, what the hell. All in all I would rate that experience at a two on a scale of five. It could have been worse but I still ended up leaving to find someplace with outlets and internet. Both of which put me in a super pissy mood.

Starbucks you fail here.

So to all of the business' out in the world. Stop asking asinine questions and just give me exactly what I ordered. It's not that damn hard.