High school Mishi

It has recently dawned on my that I was crazy in high school. And not for the usual reasons. I thought I was super fat in high school, having graduated from college being a good chunk heavier I know that to be false. But I don't think I ever had clothes that fit right. A few months back (last November) we moved into a new house and I have slowly been going through super old boxes. I've found several outfits that fit correctly, but I bought them in high school... I clearly had no idea how to dress in high school.

Thankfully I had a few wonderful friends who pulled me out of my dike phase. It was unpleasant. The pictures are awful. But at least the clothes were comfy. Even if I did look like a more mature version of Justin Beiber. Okay so that isn't really true, but it's a rather amusing comparison.

Anyway, it was a nice change to put on clothes that fit instead of finding them to small. That always really sucks. Especially if they used to be baggy. Talk about a major ego bust. I used to keep clothes that were to small because "I was going to loose weight" and be able to fit in them again. Yeah. Talk about majorly delusional. If I do loose a bunch of weight it means I deserve to buy myself new clothes.

Meh.

2012.

Last year was definitely a meh year. Nothing horrifically tragic happened (to me anyway) and nothing overtly fabulous happened either. The year started with me being jobless, totally broke and living in a storage unit sized room in my parents house. It ended with me still totally broke, only now I am living in a spacious basement room (still in my parents house). All in all not very many exciting things happened. Mostly cuz I didn't try.

The most exciting moments were the few road trips I took, one to Lincoln, two or three to Loveland... and that's it. One of my very bestest friends pseudo graduated in May, but technically she'd received her diploma in December of 2011. So that really didn't happen last year.

A few of my other good friends bought houses, insuring I felt like an abject failure at life. Which, sadly, at the moment is fairly accurate, if you go by normal standards. I'm not married, I don't have kids, I am not in a relationship (serious or otherwise), I don't have a career, I don't own a car, I'm no longer in school, I don't support myself financially and I haven't taken life seriously for a very, very long time.

And even with all of that I feel happier right now than I have for years. For the first time in my life I am not scrambling to please someone else. I don't have to worry about teachers, deadlines, horrible bosses, and family members pressuring me into choices I don't want. For the first time in a long time I feel free. 

Not to say I don't have responsibilities, because I do. I have an awesome job, a good boss and occasionally I have to explain to certain family members that I will not be going to church for now (it's so nice to be able to choose). But even with all of that I have a freedom of choice that most people don't.

For example, at the moment I have vibrantly purple hair. It's not outlandish and neon, it's a dark purple that looks fantastic. But I was the one who got to choose the color. Some of you who have known me for a long time might be wondering why I would find that so novel, knowing that I had purple hair in college. The job I have now is relatively liberating, the dress code is minimal and so long as I show up on time and work hard I can pretty much do what I want. It's awesome.

I feel like this is going to be a time in my life that I look back on fondly. I have no one to answer too except myself and I love it. I know eventually I might want a serious relationship and to be tied down to one place by owning a house, but right now all I really want is the freedom to roam. The knowledge that with enough effort and dedication I can go anywhere.

I will admit that at first that idea was terrifying. I spent almost an entire year vacillating about were I should go next, what specific path I should choose for a career. It was frustrating. Not having a set guideline for life. No syllabus, no grading rubric, no corporate latter to climb. Nothing but the wind and a million choices. Terrifying. Electric. Almost elemental.

After spending months uncertain about anything I can now say I know what I want. I've just realized that it doesn't particularly matter when it happens. I am going to go to grad school, hopefully I can get my applications in this year but even if I don't it will still be there next year. No matter what happens in the next few days, moths and years all I have to do is keep moving forward. The only thing that can ever get in the way is myself.

"'No' as in 'no', or 'no' as in 'maybe'?"

There has been nothing super interesting happening in my life recently. In fact it is unbelievably dull. All I ever do is work. That being said. Today was fantastic because I finally got new windshield whippers. It is a very exciting day. I just needed to share that.

Last weekend I went to my high school fiver year reunion. It's just kind of strange to have a five year reunion. Most of my classmates are borderline broke or have no idea what the hell to do with their lives. A lot of them have kids too. Part of me is super happy for them and the side is horrified at the thought of already being a mother. Their kids are soooo cute.

I do have to say that going made me rethink most of my life choices and I decided I wouldn't change much. Some days I think there's something wrong with me because I don't really want to be married or have kids, but that's because I have definite career goals. I am not so selfish that I want to try having the perfect family and the perfect career. I just don't believe it's possible for most families. It seems to me that people who have extremely successful careers don't have the closest families. Not that there is a problem with that. I just grew up in a family that was really close. If I ever have kids I want to be the one raising them, not a nanny, not a day care, me. Which is why I am focused on my life goals, if I get to where I want to go I will be able to raise my own kids.

That got surprisingly melancholy. Anyway, the really annoying part of the "reunion" (there were only like seven of us) was that the cafeteria had been remodeled. It looks fantastic. And I am annoyed that they waited till I left to do it. Mostly cuz they are building a new science building at the college I went to. Construction started the year after I left. Apparently I can never be at the school when it gets something new.

Tripping on stones down memory lane

I own way to much stuff and have recently been going through it so I can hopefully stumble across a box of stuff I can just dump out. It hasn't worked so well yet. I did, however, run across a box of junk left over from high school and earlier... it's kind of scary to go through. While going through a stack of papers that consist of everything from boarding passes to letters sent from schools I found a note... a really scary note. I note that had been between me and a friend in high school. And it was entirely about these two guys we where crushing on.

Since very few people remember the code words we used for boys I feel no shame (well... very little shame) in saying the boys discussed were Larry and Rabbit. Which, in retrospect, totally did not fit the guys assigned to them. Well... Larry kind of did. But rabbit did not. At all.

...

It is scary to think how very boy crazy I used to be. Like, seriously. If I could smack fifteen year-old me I would. Right on the back of the head. Like Gibbs does to DiNozzo. At least it would make me feel better. The me now, not the me then. The me way back when (all of like eight years ago) would have just laughed at me and walked off trying (and epically failing) to act all bad ass.

*shudder*

The only consolation is knowing that most other people would like to take a few nukes and lots of C4 to their high school selves. It's an extremely awkward time. You're trying desperately to figure out who you are and what you want from life. There is the added awkwardness of living away from home the first time (this is for dorm students only). It's a crazy time to be alive.

I now have a very strong urge to hide all of the pictures of me from the time I was fourteen until I turned nineteen. Hmmm... that might actually be possible. I was great at hiding from cameras.

The box also held all bunch of my doodles, from what I saw, the doodles started around the same time I started school... they where tragic. I am not entire sure what weird genetic hang up I have about throwing things away, but it needs to stop. It kind of did. I went through the drawings and tossed a bunch of stuff. In that pile was all of my room decorations from high school... well, it was most of the magazine ads I had hanging up. Around my junior year I decided I needed stuff on the walls. I went through a bunch of magazines and took out all of the best advertisements and then hung them on my wall. Most of them are still rather amusing.

I think I might put together a collage of dorm life, consisting of all the stuff I used to decorate while living in a dorm (app. 7 years). It wouldn't be to large since most years I had the same decorations. I would put them up differently every year, but it was always the same pictures.

All in all, this has been a fun day. I have kept some stuff I don't need, but it makes me happy to look. If it makes me happy I am damn well going to keep. Now if I could only find someplace to put it...

This picture isn't as random as it looks.
In the box I found a Caption Jack Sparrow Plushie...
It's terrifying, so I thought I would go with a good picture instead.

P.S. This post was mostly for Mike, since I have been such a flake when it comes to posting. You're awesome.

Spanish class and Profe

For two years in high school I took Spanish classes. I don't think I could string together a sentence then and I sure as hell can't do it now. Just no way. But I love to talk in class and I find it horrific when my lack of vocabulary stems my annoyance factor. Spanish I consisted of learning a bunch of random words and present tense conjugation for verbs, we didn't work with past, future, past participle, or future participle, or back to the future verbs. We learned the basic phrases: Who are you? Who am I? What's that? Where is the bathroom? This is my favorite, and Run it's the police!

Okay, so we didn't actually learn that last phrase, but it would have been awesome.

My teacher, who we all called Profe, was one of my favorite high school teachers. He is just awesome, best teacher ever. At least as far as language teachers go. By the time I got around to taking Spanish II he expected us to speak only Spanish during the class period. I think he had ridiculously high expectations. Who actually learns anything in high school? Nobody.

Anyway. I didn't know a lick of Spanish, which effectively kept me from speaking very loud in class. I would say I was completely silent, but we both know that would be a lie. I can't keep silent for more than two minutes. This constantly got me in trouble in class, Profe was always snapping at me to keep it down and to only talk in Spanish. Unfortunately, the times he told me this in Spanish it wasn't very effective. His scowl, however, worked like a charm. That man could glare like a Southern Belle. (don't ever quote me on that. I will deny it).

One day I decide to take pity on poor Profe and speak only in Spanish. I repeated the same word, over and over and over again. I think I kept up a slight rap for several minutes before he told me to stop saying that word. I think it was very, muy? Or something like that. Well he only told me to stop saying that word. So I moved on to a different word, only this time I was saying it to my friend sitting next to me. Now instead of me just repeating a word, it was a one worded conversation. I would say the word then she would, then me, then her.

Profe did not find this anymore amusing. By the end of the class period he sternly lectured me that only saying one word did not constitute a conversation and that if I wanted to speak at all in class it could only be in coherent conversation style. I was the only student who had to follow that particular rule. *sniff*

Yeah. I was a little brat in high school. Still am.

Also, it's almost Halloween. Cheers


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High School

My first year of high school was spent at a tiny little church school. Tiny. I think there was less than thirty people in the whole school. There was less than ten people in my class, which was 9 & 10 combined class. We had this iguana named Godzuki that was freakishly awesome!

Anyway... I was going to talk about the theme song for that year. In the glory that comes with becoming a high school student the boys in the class, all two of them, decided they were enamored with the song "Stacy's Mom" by Fountains of Wayne. It played on Pandora today and I couldn't but think of my class bellowing that song in unison during lunch breaks. There were a few other songs that came and went that year, but Stacy's Mom was the only one that stuck all year.

For anyone who has never heard Stacy's Mom here are the lyrics:

Stacy's mom has got it goin' on
Stacy's mom has got it goin' on
Stacy's mom has got it goin' on
Stacy's mom has got it goin' on

Stacy, can I come over after school? (after school)
We can hang around by the pool (hang by the pool)
Did your mom get back from her business trip? (business trip)
Is she there, or is she trying to give me the slip? (give me the slip)

You know, I'm not the little boy that I used to be
I'm all grown up now, baby can't you see

Stacy's mom has got it goin' on
She's all I want and I've waited for so long
Stacy, can't you see you're just not the girl for me
I know it might be wrong but I'm in love with Stacy's mom

Stacy's mom has got it goin' on
Stacy's mom has got it goin' on

Stacy, do you remember when I mowed your lawn? (mowed your lawn)
Your mom came out with just a towel on (towel on)
I could tell she liked me from the way she stared (the way she stared)
And the way she said, "You missed a spot over there" (a spot over there)

And I know that you think it's just a fantasy
But since your dad walked out, your mom could use a guy like me

Stacy's mom has got it goin' on
She's all I want, and I've waited so long
Stacy, can't you see you're just not the girl for me
I know it might be wrong,
but I'm in love with Stacy's mom

Stacy's mom has got it goin' on
She's all I want and I've waited for so long,
Stacy can't you see your just not the girl for me,
I know it might be wrong but oh oh
(I know it might be wrong)
I'm in love with (Stacy's mom oh oh)
(Stacys mom oh oh)
I'm in love with Stacy's mom