Chai or Coffee. The ultimate choice that I have to make every time I walk into a coffee shop. Do I get a supreme delicious overdoes of dark succulent caffeine or a do I get a spicy yet slightly nutty blissfully sinful cup full of tea? The decision haunts me even after I have gotten my purchase. Thoughts of maybe I should have gotten the other one circle around my head like a fleet of vultures ready to devour me. The first sip is always the worst, with horrible cognitive dissonance about to ensue I plunge head first into a giddy caffeine coma.
Most of the time I have chosen correctly and can happily consume the rest of my beverage in mental peace with a happy little song drunkenly playing in the background. One the rare occasion (not actually as rare as I want them to be, but that is because I believe in adventures) that it isn't as yummy as I was first led to believe it is a portentous moment. Basically if I get something I don't like I end up being a pissy vindictive monstrosity that believes the entire universe is at fault for me picking a bad drink.
Which is freakishly easy to do. There are several methods for making coffee beans and then entirely way to many ways to prepare coffee once it has been brewed. So faced with a mountain of choices I generally take the easy way out and get chai. With chai there are approximately four choices: hot, iced, blended ice, and what type of milk. I almost always get the same thing, a chai frappachino with soy milk. It is delicious.
So this morning when I decided to get coffee I opted for the frozen slushesk coffee deliciousness I was kinda worried, but it ended all good. And all's good that end's good. Right?
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Monday, June 28, 2010
Same old same old
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, Shame on you. Fool me thrice, I am gonna kick your ass.
But seriously. I am not that smart. If I was intelligent I would stop making the same mistakes over and over and over again. Like staying up late at night to read even when I know I have to get up for work the next day. Or forgetting to set an alarm clock so that I remember to eat. Or buying food so that on the off chance I remember to eat I actually have food in my room... hmmm... food sounds really good right now. I want a Popsicle. I think that every office should have a freezer full of them. So yes, I cannot seem to remember and/or learn anything from the mistakes I keep making. Some days it seems like I am on a hamster wheel and I just keep running and not getting any where. So I have to ask myself the question, get off and sit like a lazy ass or stay on and go no where?
A very difficult question to answer. Will I sit and not do anything because I am smarter then the hamster wheel, or will I continue working hard for what seems like it has no end.
I think I am just going to be lazy and sit. And eat candy.
But seriously. I am not that smart. If I was intelligent I would stop making the same mistakes over and over and over again. Like staying up late at night to read even when I know I have to get up for work the next day. Or forgetting to set an alarm clock so that I remember to eat. Or buying food so that on the off chance I remember to eat I actually have food in my room... hmmm... food sounds really good right now. I want a Popsicle. I think that every office should have a freezer full of them. So yes, I cannot seem to remember and/or learn anything from the mistakes I keep making. Some days it seems like I am on a hamster wheel and I just keep running and not getting any where. So I have to ask myself the question, get off and sit like a lazy ass or stay on and go no where?
A very difficult question to answer. Will I sit and not do anything because I am smarter then the hamster wheel, or will I continue working hard for what seems like it has no end.
I think I am just going to be lazy and sit. And eat candy.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Walmart Employees
I had a rather odd experience at Walmart the other day. I ran into an ubber helpful employee. I did not think they existed. I was pretty sure I would run into a unicorn before I was actually helped by one of their employees. Then it hit me, she must be a new employee trying to do her best to keep the Walmart promise.
You can tell how long someone has worked at Walmart by their customer service in action.
New Employee: They jump in front of you in order to be more helpful, the problem is that they don't know the store yet and can't actually be helpful.
Three Months: They avoid customers when walking to the back for break, that way they don't have to help someone not in their department. They also smile while talking to the customers.
Six Months: Smile at the customers and answer the questions in a helpful manner. But they also hide when they see that a customer looks lost. Makes a mad dash for the break room and doesn't stop for anyone but managers.
One Year: Has successful learned how to avoid eye contact with costumers, ensuring that only the truly desperate will ask for help. When asked will smile and take costumer to the area needed. Has a specifically designed escape route for breaks.
Two Years: Has acquired a deaf ear. They can only hear customers from their left sides. Stashes boxes in their area so they can carry them to the back for break so that their will be no interruptions. Still smiles and talks to customers when pinned, but will point out less experienced workers to do the actual help.
Three Years: Is completely deaf unless management is present. Knows the entire store upside down and backwards. Can turn invisible while walking around the store and not wanting to be disturbed.
Four Years+ : Doesn't even acknowledge the customer when asked questions, just points and grunts and continues working. Is a very rare creature that can hardly ever be found unless it wants to be.
A side note, a year working for walmart is approximately equal to ten years at a normal job.
You can tell how long someone has worked at Walmart by their customer service in action.
New Employee: They jump in front of you in order to be more helpful, the problem is that they don't know the store yet and can't actually be helpful.
Three Months: They avoid customers when walking to the back for break, that way they don't have to help someone not in their department. They also smile while talking to the customers.
Six Months: Smile at the customers and answer the questions in a helpful manner. But they also hide when they see that a customer looks lost. Makes a mad dash for the break room and doesn't stop for anyone but managers.
One Year: Has successful learned how to avoid eye contact with costumers, ensuring that only the truly desperate will ask for help. When asked will smile and take costumer to the area needed. Has a specifically designed escape route for breaks.
Two Years: Has acquired a deaf ear. They can only hear customers from their left sides. Stashes boxes in their area so they can carry them to the back for break so that their will be no interruptions. Still smiles and talks to customers when pinned, but will point out less experienced workers to do the actual help.
Three Years: Is completely deaf unless management is present. Knows the entire store upside down and backwards. Can turn invisible while walking around the store and not wanting to be disturbed.
Four Years+ : Doesn't even acknowledge the customer when asked questions, just points and grunts and continues working. Is a very rare creature that can hardly ever be found unless it wants to be.
A side note, a year working for walmart is approximately equal to ten years at a normal job.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Why I am senile at 21
I was sitting on my bed last night reading a new book series when I look down at my legs, I couldn't figure out why they looked so different, then it dawned on me. I had forgotten to save one leg. As in I only had saved one leg. Meaning I was running around the dorm with a sleek soft leg while the other was a hair monster beast. I don't even remember shaving, much less stopping after only one leg.
Since this is not the first time such an awkwardly hilarious event has happened I have decided I am senile. I also forget everything. Well not everything, but pretty close to everything. I have been told several times that one of my friends was president of the warriors fan club. It took me about six times to remember that. I don't think I ever would have except that one person kept reminding me over and over and over again. I didn't appreciate the humor... well maybe a little.
So that is why I am senile at 21. I can't wait to see what happens at 22, not like I will be able to remember anything.
Since this is not the first time such an awkwardly hilarious event has happened I have decided I am senile. I also forget everything. Well not everything, but pretty close to everything. I have been told several times that one of my friends was president of the warriors fan club. It took me about six times to remember that. I don't think I ever would have except that one person kept reminding me over and over and over again. I didn't appreciate the humor... well maybe a little.
So that is why I am senile at 21. I can't wait to see what happens at 22, not like I will be able to remember anything.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Death Through Layout Programs
I am going to find the person who created Dork Express (I changed the name so I don't have to deal with copy right crap) and put them through the same misery I experience every time I have I use it.
The worst program on the face of the planet! It is so bloody confusing... and it is a pain in the ass to use. I hate it soooo much. It also doesn't help that today was the worst day in the history of my full time working career(which is a grand totally of like five weeks, but shh). The day started off with so much promise too. I had actually woken up earlier to get to work on time, not like my boss actually expects me on time or anything. The first real issue was me spilling my coffee... This fact still really upsets me "Coffee No!" I then realized I was locked out of my office (cuz of really stupid meetings), when I went to the secondary office the drawer with the extra key was locked... Yes the drawer that is supposed to keep me from getting locked out was locked. SO angry.
Once I came to the conclusion that I would not be able to pick the lock to get to the key I needed I went around campus to several different offices looking for someone who had a key, a lovely desk worker finally pointed out that I should call plant services. There were two people down there with keys, but they weren't in the office either... Extreme frustration.
I opted for texting a co-worker who normally comes in sometime between 9:30 to 10:30. He texted me saying when he would be in, since it was going to be a while I decided to chill in the cafe after heating up my coffee, at least what was left of my coffee.
When someone had finally come to open the door I left the cafe through a back door. Worst idea of the day. I got locked in a room. Yes I said locked. As in I was stuck, the crash bar wasn't opening the door and the door I had left through was locked. To make this perfectly clear I tried opening the door. I pushed my entire weight against the door and it would not budge. I called a friend to have her let me out so I could go to work. The first thing she did was walk in and open the door. I was so pissed. I had tried opening that door for like two minutes and it did not budge.
In the end I finally got to work, about an hour later than I was planning on showing up, but whatever.
And that all leads to way I was so angry when I was stuck working with my least favorite program on the face of the planet. It was just a really bad day. Although since I want to end this with a happy note, I did get free food, and it tasted suburb.
The worst program on the face of the planet! It is so bloody confusing... and it is a pain in the ass to use. I hate it soooo much. It also doesn't help that today was the worst day in the history of my full time working career(which is a grand totally of like five weeks, but shh). The day started off with so much promise too. I had actually woken up earlier to get to work on time, not like my boss actually expects me on time or anything. The first real issue was me spilling my coffee... This fact still really upsets me "Coffee No!" I then realized I was locked out of my office (cuz of really stupid meetings), when I went to the secondary office the drawer with the extra key was locked... Yes the drawer that is supposed to keep me from getting locked out was locked. SO angry.
Once I came to the conclusion that I would not be able to pick the lock to get to the key I needed I went around campus to several different offices looking for someone who had a key, a lovely desk worker finally pointed out that I should call plant services. There were two people down there with keys, but they weren't in the office either... Extreme frustration.
I opted for texting a co-worker who normally comes in sometime between 9:30 to 10:30. He texted me saying when he would be in, since it was going to be a while I decided to chill in the cafe after heating up my coffee, at least what was left of my coffee.
When someone had finally come to open the door I left the cafe through a back door. Worst idea of the day. I got locked in a room. Yes I said locked. As in I was stuck, the crash bar wasn't opening the door and the door I had left through was locked. To make this perfectly clear I tried opening the door. I pushed my entire weight against the door and it would not budge. I called a friend to have her let me out so I could go to work. The first thing she did was walk in and open the door. I was so pissed. I had tried opening that door for like two minutes and it did not budge.
In the end I finally got to work, about an hour later than I was planning on showing up, but whatever.
And that all leads to way I was so angry when I was stuck working with my least favorite program on the face of the planet. It was just a really bad day. Although since I want to end this with a happy note, I did get free food, and it tasted suburb.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Dysfunctional Laminate Tile Stuff
I had thought moving into the wrong room was going to okay, and I guess it is, in one of those "Oh look someone pulled the pin on this grenade - F***!" kinda ways.
I am not sure what was worse, the smell of the floor. The smell was misleading because the previous occupant had febreezed the room to cover the smell of spilled feta cheese... it was really bad the first night.
But the floor... It is just so bad. As soon as I find a camera I will post a picture. Fake wood laminate. Need I say more? It didn't stop there, the loverly person who decided to put the laminate floor down realized that they didn't have enough to cover the entire floor. They left a 6X4 foot rectangle in the middle of the floor with the original tile. I have a tri-toned floor. The tile under the sink isn't the same as the tile in the middle of the floor. I guess I should just be glad that I have a unique floor.
I am not sure what was worse, the smell of the floor. The smell was misleading because the previous occupant had febreezed the room to cover the smell of spilled feta cheese... it was really bad the first night.
But the floor... It is just so bad. As soon as I find a camera I will post a picture. Fake wood laminate. Need I say more? It didn't stop there, the loverly person who decided to put the laminate floor down realized that they didn't have enough to cover the entire floor. They left a 6X4 foot rectangle in the middle of the floor with the original tile. I have a tri-toned floor. The tile under the sink isn't the same as the tile in the middle of the floor. I guess I should just be glad that I have a unique floor.
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