Racism

Plus Panda's are just plain awesome.

In all honesty I stole this whole post from a friend who has a blog that is not quite as awesome as mine, but who definitely blogs more.... Maybe I'll remember to do it more often. Doubtful.

I did have something new and interesting to blog about. But it will just have to wait my cat is meowing. Ah, yes, I did get a cat and learning to co-habitat with him has been interesting. In a kind of tragic "Why'd you pee outside of the box" way.

How my life feels recently

I don't really know the best way to describe the horror that is Bridge. If you have never been in hurry to finish a project and accidentally opened that program you are exceptionally lucky, or have never taken a graphic design class. And if you can't figure out how that applies to my life I don't really feel like explaining it. Mostly cuz it means the majority of the problems in my life are my own damn fault.

Open foot insert mouth

Most of the time when I see something that is horrifically designed I ignore it and try to forget it exists. This is the same strategy I should have followed today. I looked up the website for my Aikido dojo, I con't even remember why, but it was the worst website I have seen since the Yale Art student website (which is surprisingly awful).

Well... I decided I just could not stand the thought of that website lurking on the internet so I made an offhand comment to my Sensei. *sigh* Some days it is just not even worth getting out of bed. In my defense when I googled the site this is what popped up.

...

Yeah. It's is just... there are no words.

It was while thinking of that website that I tried to nicely explain what was wrong. So much is wrong. Just so much.

Turns out I was looking at the old website and didn't even know it. When Sensei made an offhand remark about the old website being much worse I didn't believe him. I mean, how could that get any worse? Having everything in a comic sans/ papyrus mix wouldn't even make it that much more awful. I stumbled across the new website while looking for the old one. It's gorgeous.


It's almost as good as something Justgibs would do. Almost. But he is freaking legendary (or will be soon) and no mere person could compete with his greatness. The girl who redesigned that site does get an honorable mention though.

I can use the force

A friend from work has recently suckered me into taking Aikido with her. It has been a rather interesting experience. One I am not particularly good at. The only thing that keeps me going back to the classes is that I paid for three months up front (it was kind of required) and I like being able to say that I am learning how to use the Force.

Strictly speaking it's using the persons own momentum and force against them. I guess it's all about leverage and body movement...? Like I said I am not particularly good at it.

We do get to do the lazy Captain Morgan. It's hilarious. But more on that later.

If you're thinking "Mishi is going to learn how to that?"
followed by a growing sense of horror
I completely agree.
Mwahahahahahahaha!

The Emergency Room is not to be used for hair cutting

Today is probably the worst day I've had in recent memory. With my new job I have Friday's and Saturday's off. This morning I woke up to my father whistling and yelling that he needed help. Anyone who has roomed with me knows it takes a few seconds for my brain to have any intelligent thoughts. I took too long to answer and my dad burst in my room shouting that he needed help, that he couldn't see and that he needed to go to the hospital. Not exactly a great combination.

I grabbed the first semi clothes like objects I could find, picked up my purse and ran upstairs. My father was in the garage manually pulling the door down. He'd been in the middle of installing the garage door opener when his eyes went wonky, one looking up the other down. He said it lasted for about five minutes. Since he looked okay I asked if he felt good enough for me to put on real clothes before we left for the ER. It only took me about minute to put on real clothes but it felt like an eternity.

When I got back upstairs (it was a good thing I'd gone down to my room to get dressed because my car keys were not in my purse) my father was back up on a ladder finishing the instillation... He took too long to answer questions and insisted on locking the back door before we left. It was rather annoying. If your in pain we need to just go, screw the back door.

Never before have I hated bad drivers so much. Never. I've also never hated school zones like I did today. I will admit that I went over the speed limit. But not a lot. Something was seriously wrong with my father and I couldn't risk the time it would take by being pulled over. Each minute I was stopped at a red light was excruciating; my thoughts spun out of control as I imagined the worst scenarios. I kept thinking he was going to have a seizure and die in the car and it would have been all my fault because I took the time to get dressed. The emotional roller coaster continued until I pulled into the ER drop off; it then went from up and down to pure panic as I watched daddy stagger in the door. Almost blind panic ensued as I went around to the parking garage to park the car. Later I couldn't even remember what floor I'd parked on.

Parking garages confuse me on good days, hospitals are also notoriously confusing. I'd never been in this hospital before, with the exception of when I was born, and almost burst into tears when trying to ask for directions. Thankfully they had rather large signs with easy to follow arrows. It was easy to get around once I'd calmed down enough so I could actually read the signs.

We waited less than a minute after I found the ER waiting room before being pulled back by a way to chipper nurse. Chick needed to detox the caffeine. The feeling of dread that had started when I woke up got strung tighter and tighter as she continued to ask asinine questions. I wanted to shake her and scream "Can't you tell something is wrong with my daddy?"

The only thing that stopped me was knowing nurses are required to ask those questions, that shaking a nurse is a great way to get kicked out and that one of my best friends is a nurse who talks about the crazy people she deals with at work. I don't want to be one of those crazy people. But it was so hard. It couldn't have been more than five or six minutes before she lead us back to the actual ER. At least that's what I assume it was since the entire area was done in overly soothing, sterile, horrifying hospital style. I don't care what experts in psychology say, there is nothing that can sooth people when someone they love is having medical problems Calm is not even registered as a valid emotion.

Another nurse came into the new patient room, number 13 cuz apparently the hospital staff is not superstitious at all (not that I noticed that until afterwords, like right now), and asked all the same questions again. When the doctor finally got there, and honestly in retrospect it took time but not nearly as long as it could have been, he ask all the questions a third time. I was trying to keep my freaking out to a minimum and not succeeding very well. It didn't help that every few seconds the heart monitor would let out a high pitched beeping noise. Every time I sort of got under control it would let out a loud shriek. Not exactly soothing.

The nurse came back and hooked my father up to an IV and the heart monitor. I sat their and watched it all happening, a useless bystander. It hurts to sit and watch someone you love be in pain, to have to sit there and do nothing. After a while I realized my mother did not know what was happening, I thought about calling her but ended up texting her because I didn't want to explain what was happening on voice mail. She showed up a half hour before noon so I could go get some food. One of the first things she commented on was my dad's hair, apparently it was too long and she wanted to give him a hair cut... Some days I cannot believe the things that she does. It's just unreal.

I remember being absurdly grateful when I saw that people didn't have to pay for the parking garage. I've never taken anyone to the hospital before, much less the emergency room and have never thought about the parking space and stuff that hospitals need. While I was out the doctors had him get a CT scan. Apparently he did not have a stroke, he had a pinched vein (or artery, or something like that) which causes all of the same symptoms as a stroke but isn't as bad...? I am still unclear on all of that.

What I do know is that instead of coming home and relaxing like the nurses told him too he is in the garage fixing the door opener... It's enough to make me develop eye twitches. The good news is that he's fine, there was no permanent damage. Unfortunately the doctors don't know why it happens sometimes and not others. Real helpful.

Somebody tried to pick me up at the library

Okay, so that's not really what happened. But the girl did give me her number. Which was both flattering and strange. And not at all like how I made that sound. I was perusing my the manga section in the library, which is ridiculously small and I wouldn't be too surprised to find out I own more books. Anyway, she happened to be looking at the books too and was extremely happy to meet someone normal who also read manga...

Yeah... I don't think I've ever qualified as normal. *shurg* I do appear more normal than most people who read that particular media. It was just a very strange night. It'd started out with me attempting to take some night shots, the moon was gorgeous (but refused to show up in any of the pictures. Damn you moon!) but it got to cold so I meandered into the library. And ended up meeting a rather interesting person.

Falling into jobs

Over the last few years I have been unbelievably lucky in job acquisitions. Most of the jobs I've had were pretty much offered to me on a platter. Not that I didn't have to interview and work my ass off when I got the job. But it was pretty much in the bag when I started. Mkay, that sounds kind of conceited. It was more like unless I did something unbelievably stupid I would get the job. Thanks to my four years in college I pretty much know how to land a job after the first interview. Unfortunately I have a habit of being brutally honest and most employers to do not want to hear it. Mostly cuz I have no idea where the hell my life is going, or if it's headed in a direction I'm passionate about.

Um. This pretty much is how I got my new job. Right place, right time. It was my day off and I decided to chill for a few hours in a coffee house I rarely visit, but knew had a great chai. While I was enjoying the soup, I was really hungry so I ended up eating lunch there, the manager came out of her office looking flustered. When she was walking past my table she asked if I was looking for a job. It was out of the blue and I was to surprised to answer. After thinking about it for about a minute I got up and asked her what I needed to do to get the job. She asked me to come in the next day with my resume. When I did we had a nice, if strangely long and kind of personal talk.

And the rest is history. Granted it's pretty funny history.

"sit does not mean hump my leg"

My mother's dog is insane. It jumps all over the place and is crazy hyper. At least for her. Most of the time I don't go anywhere near it. The dog believes I am his personal slobber post. It's super gross. We had to tie him up because people were coming to see the house (Oh yeah, we're in the middle of selling our house. W00t.) I felt bad for him so after the people left I went out to unhook the chain, totally expecting to be mauled. Which I was, but when I told him to sit he actually sat. This has never happened before. I mean Never. And the most amazing thing is that he stayed sitting, granted I told him to stay. But dogs are not known for their long memories.

Now that I know he'll actually sit I am more inclined to take him for walks. Well, it'd still be more like him dragging me along. But, meh. He's super cute when he behaves.

A dear friend posted this on my fb page.
Not sure where she found it, but it's awesome.

This week has been kind of weird. I got a job offer on Sunday, which means I can quit my awfully job. Part of the reason I haven't been blogging (other than pure lazyness) is because all I want to do is bitch about the worst job I have ever had. I would have preferred to work for my father than continue working where I had a job. (I am not going to say where it was because it doesn't matter).

My new job is at a coffee house bistro thing. Not really sure if it would be classified as a restaurant

"I'm aaaaaaaall grown up"

So can I go back to being a kid? Cuz that would be awesome. At this point in my life I can't decide if I hate my job or I just hate working. I can't say I hate working in general because I've had jobs I didn't really consider jobs because it was fun. Stressful and intense, but fun.

I read a super sad story yesterday and it has dumped me into a rather bleak out look on life. I think that all sad books should have a massive stamp on the front that says "Tragedy." Then I could know which books to avoid.

Things I never expected to happen to me

More like crazy happenstances at work. This one is going on my anit-bukit list. A couple of weeks ago at work I went to the bathroom, because that's what happens when you drink a bunch of water. Well on my way out this dude walks into the bathroom and heads right for one of the stalls... It was very bizarre. He was kind of old looking and so at first I wasn't sure if he was a guy or not. Turns out he was. Thankfully I got to dump the problem on a manager and not have to deal with it myself.

Which brings me to one of my paranoia's. I am terrified that one day I will accidentally walk into the men's room. On it's own that wouldn't be a big deal, just turn around and walk out. But I always feel like I would walk into some really awkward conversation/ situation. Don't ask what is going down in the men's restroom, but I feel like I would totally walk in on a drug deal, get shot and then end up dead upside down in toilet  Not exactly the way I want to die. It's rather specific for a paranoia and I don't think there is a "name" for it, but if there is I bet it sounds totally awesome.

"'No' as in 'no', or 'no' as in 'maybe'?"

There has been nothing super interesting happening in my life recently. In fact it is unbelievably dull. All I ever do is work. That being said. Today was fantastic because I finally got new windshield whippers. It is a very exciting day. I just needed to share that.

Last weekend I went to my high school fiver year reunion. It's just kind of strange to have a five year reunion. Most of my classmates are borderline broke or have no idea what the hell to do with their lives. A lot of them have kids too. Part of me is super happy for them and the side is horrified at the thought of already being a mother. Their kids are soooo cute.

I do have to say that going made me rethink most of my life choices and I decided I wouldn't change much. Some days I think there's something wrong with me because I don't really want to be married or have kids, but that's because I have definite career goals. I am not so selfish that I want to try having the perfect family and the perfect career. I just don't believe it's possible for most families. It seems to me that people who have extremely successful careers don't have the closest families. Not that there is a problem with that. I just grew up in a family that was really close. If I ever have kids I want to be the one raising them, not a nanny, not a day care, me. Which is why I am focused on my life goals, if I get to where I want to go I will be able to raise my own kids.

That got surprisingly melancholy. Anyway, the really annoying part of the "reunion" (there were only like seven of us) was that the cafeteria had been remodeled. It looks fantastic. And I am annoyed that they waited till I left to do it. Mostly cuz they are building a new science building at the college I went to. Construction started the year after I left. Apparently I can never be at the school when it gets something new.

It has been a day.

One of those horrible days where everything goes wrong. I am not even joking. I will not share everything that went horrifically today (you can thank me later). But I will say that I am going to have a serious smack down at work if this continues. Heads will roll. Preferably not mine.

It's really not all that bad, but we are running so short staffed that we barely can cover breaks much less all the other crap that needs to get done. It's ... exhausting. My last day off was Monday and I don't have another day off till this coming Thursday. For those of you who can do math that means I am working straight for nine days. Nine days is a freakishly long time.

The worst thing that happened was someone (I am almost positive I know who it was) dropped a thermometer in the fryer... yeah. So during one of the busiest times of the day we are changing the oil in the fryer. It was pretty intense. And insane. And I am so glad I do not have to open tomorrow. Just close and then open Sunday, and Monday and Tuesday and Wednesday and then I finally, finally get a few days off. To make matters worse the last three weeks I had split days off. Which blows.

I've also spent the last week or so cleaning up after my "trainees". Yes. I have trainees. I who have the least experience ever am training people. Argh. I work in the worst managed store ever.

But it's all okay because I had coffee Haagen-Daz while watching Face Off. Best relaxation technique ever.

It's Delicious! 

Face Off is a great show, it's all about creating something awesome in a short amount of time. And for those of you who think that is a shoddy explanation here is a better one : Face Off is a reality TV game show where the contestants compete in different challenges each week and at the end one person wins a lot of money and gets a blueberry (blue Prius). It's cool. Probably on of the only reality TV shows where I have seen contestants helping each other. Although I feel like that happens sometimes on Project Runway (the other great reality TV show, all others can just disappear).

It's cool. You must watch it! You must!

Ghettotastic

At work early this week I noticed a printed sign on one of the bathroom stalls. It read "Out of order", which I thought was mildly amusing because it seems like almost everything is "out of order." Anyway it was nearly as funny as two days later when I walked into the bathroom to find that same stall with bright red tape on the door handle and hand written words under the "Out of order" sign. It read "Do NOT Use!!!!!"

I am going to let that sink in for a second. Mostly because I it took me a few minutes to realize what must have happened. Normally I would extrapolate on the awfulness, the awkwardness or the awesomeness of any situation I am blogging about. However, I feel that there are some things I cannot explain in explicit detail on the internet. Suffice to say I about fell over laughing only to stop when I realized how much that must have sucked for the custodians. Those poor, poor people. Give a custodian a hug today. Or if that feels to awkward tell them thanks, they have a sucky job that isn't properly appreciated.

Owls, but not the Harry Potter kind

I was feeling exceptionally lazy which is why there is all that awesomeness below. Some of these I choice specifically for my magical design friends. They will know which ones I am talking about, hopefully they laugh as hard as I did when they read it... if they read it. Enjoy.

New favs

For the last few weeks I have been waaaaaaay over playing a few of my new favorite songs.  I decided I just had to share the joy.

Cuz Taylor Swift is just amazing. I really like all of her stuff. Some of it is super light hearted and some has surprising depth. I never know which one it will be till I hear it myself.

The first few times I heard this song I didn't realize it was Carrie Underwood. I know, how out of it could I have possibly been. In my defense I mostly heard it on my crappy car radio while driving to work (and trying to make the cars in front of my disappear into a black hole).

And this has to be one of the weirdest music videos I've seen (mostly because I stopped watching Lady GaGa's music videos).

Mishi 0, weird rashy thing 1

Mkay. So a couple of days ago a reddish looking sort of rash appeared on the back of my hands. It's very odd, it doesn't really hurt or itch. At least not noticeably more than the rest of my skin. But it really freaks me out. It wasn't raised, but now it is. To combat this situation I have decided to make pepper jack grilled cheese. Just kidding, well I am making that but not because of the weird rashy thing.

It's turned into a competition of sorts. I put a different antibiotic cream on each hand, to see which one would clear it up. After about four hours the clear winner was the Melaleuca stuff, I am not really sure what it is. The package says for ... I can't remember but rashes and cuts were on the list. The other stuff I used was Neosporin. It let me down. Granted I have no idea what Neosporin is actually supposed to be used for, I know it's used on cuts but that's about it.

NeosporinNoooooooooo!

Either way I am hoping the stupid thing clears up before I have to go back to work. We shall see.

To add horribleness to hurt (although it doesn't) I burnt my grilled cheese. Cooking fail. Not that I should be surprised by that. Trying to blog and cook at the same time is not a good idea. Just saying.

Do you want a sammich?

Everyday when I leave work there is always someone standing at the parking lot exit with a cardboard sign. Most of them say differing things but the common theme is that the people need help. It always makes me feel awkward because I feel like I should give them something to help out, but I never have anything with me. Except today. Today I had an uneaten sandwich from my lunch. I gave it to her. It was one of the more awkward things I've ever done. I held it out the window and asked if she wanted it. She seemed pretty excited. I don't really understand why, but it made me happy that I could help someone.

That experience also made me decided that I am going to join the Terry Pratchett cult, and every time someone asks for help I will give them one of his books. Which are, obviously, the literature handed out by members. Like the "Watchtower", only better. One of the saddest things I was ever heard was the day someone told me Terry Pratchett has Alzheimer's.

One of the world's best authors (Photo).

It seems so wrong that such a brilliant man would have to suffer with one of the worst diseases. There is no cure for Alzheimer's.

And this was supposed to be a fun, light hearted and slightly witty post. There goes that idea.

On a completely unrelated note I have learned something new today. Never leave gel pills sitting in a hot car. It's just not a good idea.

Silly Rabbit

Anyone who does not know how that ends must have had a sad, sad childhood. Either that or they have Alzheimers, which would really suck.

Trix are for kids.

 I bought a box of Trix cereal last week and was very disappointed. They stopped making the little cereal pieces in the shape of fruit. This is highly destressing because that was half the reason I loved the it as a child. They are now round swirly colorful balls that look a lot like Kix, only after someone threw up technicolor on them. It's a rather uncomfortable thought to have while eating breakfast.

Best cereal ever!

Does it make me a child because I eat Trix for breakfast? (please say yes and then tell me I can act like a child; play outside all summer and not have to work. It would be fantastic). I have to say that working full time blows. I don't understand how adults have to time to do anything. I get up go to work, come home take a shower and then pass out. It's not super productive. It's also kind of annoying because I was hired as part time and they keep giving me 40+ hours a week... that isn't part time. I would normally be down with more hours, but since I am trying to apply to grad school it makes it really difficult to get anything done.

Mmm more celebrity gossip. Joy. *updated

Normally I am not inclined to pay attention to celebrity gossip because I believe most of it is publicity stunts and the other parts are no one elses damn business. I am choosing to ignore that personal rule because I've been shocked by the whole Kristen Stewart/Robert Pattinson thing.

Those of you who know me rather well have probably already figured out that my first reaction was an almost hysterical laughter. How the hell could she have an "affair" with her shitty acting skills. The humor was swiftly replaced by anger. Why the hell couldn't she use that acting ability in any of the movies she's "stared" in instead of using to screw over someone who seems like a good guy.

The most humorous comment was "Stewart is a good person, she just made a mistake."

Umm.... Getting the wrong ice cream is a mistake. Screwing around on your boyfriend is just skanky. Especially with a director. Talk about low standards.

I do feel bad for Pattinson, poor dude.

Oh yes. And she says she's sorry. Duuuuuuude. Why the hell wheren't you thinking about that before you screwed around on him? Hmmmm?

I have a rather low tolerance for cheaters. I also have a low tolerance for Kristen Stewart's shitty acting. Making this an almost unbelievable combination.

Update:

FML. Why the hell is there going to be another Huntsman movie? Why? Ugh. The first one was soooo bad. This has been a bad day.

Wildly inappropriate

A friend had this one her fb wall and I couldn't resist the urge to watch it. It's hilarious. And Wildly inappropirate. I would suggest not watching this at work or around small children. Or anyone who is stuffy and not fun.

I was thinking of finding another video but I so don't feel like it. Hurray for me getting a post done this month!

Adventures in Drug Testing

I am so freaking laaaaaaazy. I've had no desire to post at all. I just want to laze in bed all day, even the days when I drag my sorry ass out of bed for work. Yes. Work.

The evil four letter word that seriously screws up my week. I now have a job. It's super prestigious (please note the intense sarcasm there). My new, fantabulous job is in a deli. Let's just say that I have no desire to ever eat a rotisserie chicken. Never again. Ever. Nastiness comes out of those things. *shudder*

"I'm a nasty chicken that splooshes foamy crap out when unloading from the oven." (photo).

I've been meaning to write about the whole job search stuff but other things are so much more interesting. Like TV, books, my ceiling... anything basically. The interview process was a serious pain. They pulled me back for an first "interview". I have that in quotes cuz the lady asked me like three seriously asinine questions, it was things like:

"have you ever had a problem?"

"At some point in your life have you ever done something you disliked?"

"Have you been in the middle of a disagreement?"

The vagueness was enough to make me want to pound my head into a wall. I really wanted to just start making up a bunch of nonsense answers. Unfortunately I actually needed to get the job. Makes me grumpy when I have to deal with other peoples stupidity. Not that it really mattered. The "second" interview wasn't much better and the I ended up waiting over an hour for the "third" interview, which was pretty much just her telling me I was going to get a job offer in a few days. Such exciting stuff.

What probably ended up being the best part of the shenanigans was the drug testing. I hate drug testing. I hate peeing in a freaking cup. If I never have to do it again it will be too soon. Peeing in a cup has now been added to my anti bucket list. It wouldn't have been so bad except I had to get a clean test within 24 hours of getting the job offer.

Me being the overly excitable person I am decided to go straight to the drug testing place. I'd drank a bunch of coffee earlier so I thought it wouldn't be a problem. I was wrong. I got put on the "shy bladder" program. Not even joking. I got a red Solo cup full of water to help the process along. The water was seriously nasty tasting. I also was not supposed to leave the facility before I left a sample. It took almost an hour before I could do that. At that point I'd had about three full cups of water. They were not little cups.

It was not a party. It was not a good time. At all.

I strongly dislike those freaking red cups now. The highlight of my adventure in drug testing had to be the magazine in the waiting room. They had the "Architect Digest", it's a fantastic magazine with fun pictures of random famous peoples houses. If I wasn't totally broke I would totally subscribe to that magazine, it's fantastic.

The analyzer machine thing was shaped distinctly like a coffee pot. I am not joking, it was kind of creepy. Makes me glad I use a French press.

Ring, ring, ring banana phone.

They grow in bunches. Hahaha. I bet that song is now stuck in your head. Sucker.

To make up for putting that hideous song in your head let me introduce you to the new banana song. It's pretty epic. It also happens to be a trailer for Despicable Me 2. Which is highly anticipated in the Mishiverse.

If you want to "know" what it's saying, the lyrics can be found here. And if anyone knows what the English version of the lyrics I would really appreciate you putting me in the know.

Also. For those few people (mom) who don't know the Banana Phone song.

Hope that made your Friday extra special.

A fantastic fourth

I did not see any fireworks yesterday. I am not entirely sure we had any fireworks. The wild fires we have in Wyoming aren't as bad as the Colorado fires, but I think we had a firework ban. Not one that applied to professionals (what are firework people called?) but the civilians were not supposed to set any off. Not only did I not see any fireworks, but I don't remember the last time I have seen them.

The last time I remember seeing fireworks was when I spent the summer in California with my grandpa. We climbed on the roof of the church next door and could see the firework shows from about five different areas. It was awesome. Granted they weren't super close, but they were everywhere I looked. I know I've been to an actual fireworks show, it was only once but I vividly remember how uncomfortable the stadium seating was. The metal grooves dug into my behind and left permanent marks. The stadium show was when I was about ten or eleven. Over a decade ago... I feel old.

It's so pretty (photo).

Some of my fondest memories from childhood involve fireworks. They used to set them off behind the Albertsons a few blocks from where I lived. It was fun, every Fourth we would take lawn chairs and watch the show.

Things I never want to do again.

It is time I started an anti-bucket list. It is a list of all the things I NEVER want to do again. Normally I am not a big fan of using caps to emphasize specific words. In this case I am going to let it slide because I really hate the things on this list in a world blistering death kind of way. I cannot remember all of them, but on Sunday I managed to achieve one more.

I never want to hang sheetrock again. Never again. It is evil. That shit is heavy. But more than anything I hate the stupid lift. I hate it. Even looking at a picture of one makes me sooo angry I can perfectly imagine slowing ripping the thing to pieces and then burning the rest in an incinerator. Which would be really difficult since it's predominantly metal and I am not Iron Man.

This is what death looks like (photo).

I will spare you the horrific details about how I spent an entire day locked in a sweltering garage with my parents while attempting to hang giant slabs of almost concrete. Just thinking about it makes me want to cry. It was an awful experience that I never want to have again.

It's Friday!

And since it's Friday it's time to play "things that really piss me off"

Today's item is men with long hair, specifically men who don't take care of their hair. It's nasty. I feel that every child should at some point have long hair so their mothers can teach them to take care of it properly. Hell, I wouldn't even care if it was their dad's so long as someone was doing it. Because long nasty hair is disgusting. Not sexy, not attractive, it's just gross.

On a completely unrelated note, Wikipedia has a fascinating article on long hair. It's kind of weird, but then most things are.

She has super long hair.

Things I want to do

I have tried many times to write a "bukit list" and post it on my blog, but every time I end up petering out and not finishing it. Which is why I have decided that I am just going to post the idea as soon as it hits me. Then even if it's only one idea I will eventually have them all on my blog. Good times.

Today's item for "things I want to do" is:

Singing "It's a Small World" at the top of my lungs outside a hotel door, but only if the occupants inside are keeping me awake by their obnoxious sex cries.

Can't you just picture how awesome that would be? Normally I just try to ignore the noise, or turn on some music so I don't have to hear. But really, it's super inconvenient of them to be loud when I am trying to sleep. So I figure I can't just be return the favor. After all who doesn't want to be getting it on while hearing "it's a small world after all"?

One of the creepiest "rides" anywhere... (photo).

It took me several minutes to remember how that song goes. And now I can't make it stop.

Hmm... I don't remember

My first semester at college I realized something troubling. I forget to eat unless there is a set schedule. In high school there were always specific times set aside for eating. This does not happen in college. College is a massive clusterfuck schedule wise. Because of that I would consistently miss meals or just forget to eat.

After I graduated I figured it would be easier to make time for meals. Which is true, but I did not realize that I would still forget to eat. Although that isn't strictly what happens. Normally I go through all the cupboards, stare into the fridge, then the freezer and decided I don't feel like making anything because it takes so much time. I repeat that entire process looking for something I can make in less time. Ultimately I end up staring at the popsicles in the freezer and thinking "eating a popsicle will raise my blood sugar which will give me more energy so then I can actually cook something."

Which is true. Only not at all. What ends up happening: I totally forget I was hungry. Or I get distracted and start working on something else entirely. A few hours pass before I even remember I was hungry, then the whole process starts all over. And all that leads to me feeling starved by the end of the day. I basically eat one meal a day and about three or four popsicles. It's so healthy...

What has been seen cannot be unseen

I think I might have found a movie that is worse than "The Last Airbender" which shouldn't be possible. That movie had great graphics, nothing else was even remotely good about it. Nothing. Well, the costumes weren't bad. But everything else was horrible.

Anyway. I watched a movie called "Ronin" a 1998 crime thriller. It's so bad. The acting is not good, the script was poorly written and I lost interest in the movie about ten minutes in. Even with all the "action" shots. It wasn't as bad as some movies I've seen, but I ended up not even finishing it.

Speaking of really bad movies I saw another one a couple of weeks ago, "Snow White and the Huntsman." All of the previews made the movie look awesome. The graphics were good and again that is basically the only thing that was good. Most of the problems I blame on the script and the director. It was a movie based on the story of Snow White, written by the Brother's Grimm. I have not read the Brother's Grimm version of Snow White, but I feel like religion did not have a role in the story. For some unknown reason at the beginning of the movie Snow White says the Lords Prayer... There was not another reference to religion until the very end when she is crowned queen by people wearing quasi Catholic priest robes.

I just don't understand why the put religion in a movie that also has fairies. Granted they were super creepy looking fairies (Gollum meets Aang). It just didn't seem like that scene had any reason to be in the film. Throughout the entire film I had this sort of sinking feeling in my stomach. Each scene was lacking something.. I couldn't figure out what it was, I still don't know. There was not a single scene in the movie that worked for me. The scene was either pointless, to short or to long. It felt like the director was putting emphasis on plot points that were supposed to be side plots, not the main one.

He's so cool.

He is not.

The characters made me super annoyed. It took me the entire film to even kind of feel anything but apathy for them. The characters all had good back stories, but none of them were presented well. Of all the characters I'd have to say Queen Ravenna was the one I liked the best. And it wasn't just because she had the best costumes (but she did). Her character was just the most believable. Snow White kind of looked pathetic the entire movie, for a character that's supposed to be all innocent and pure she never smiled. Like ever. It was weird. I know her life sucked, but to me someone who is still pure would have the ability to smile past it. Not look like a drowned kitten. Of course that could be because she was played by Kristen Stewart, who may or may not be able to act. I can't tell if she sucks because of the roles she's played or because that's all she can do...

And the highlight of that entire movie was that Chris Hemsworth played the Huntsman. He is super hot. Although his character was borderline unbelievable. I feel like all of the character development lacked a real reason behind it. Of course I could just have ridiculously high expectations for movies. Either way I am tired of seeing poorly made movies.

Isn't she pretty? (Photo).

Tomato soup on a new level

A level of epic nastiness.

A couple days ago I tried to make some homemade tomato soup. This idea mostly came about because we did not have any cans in the house and I am way to lazy to drive to the store and get some. I called a friend who is a really good cook and who also happened to have a can of tomato soup on hand. She read me the ingredients, all of which I had in my house. All I needed was tomato paste, water, sugar and salt. It's amazing how easy it is to mess up the proportions, making something delicious taste like monster bile.

Part of the problem was that I underestimated how much water would be needed to make the tomato paste palatable. That stuff is crazy thick. The soup would have turned out okay if I hadn't decided I wanted to add milk to it. After mixing all the other ingredients together I dumped in some milk. It didn't mix in well. The milk was still separated and the rest was gritty. Which is never a word you want as a description for tomato soup.

Thankfully the spices I dumped in made it taste pretty good, once you got past the gritty, protein shake texture. I forced some on my brother and he didn't think it was that bad, but the rest of the family refused to try it. Not that I blame them. If I ever get a craving for tomato soup I think I'll just go out and buy some.

Or maybe just try this. (photo)

Things that truly horrify me

This last weekend I got a small glimpse into the world of 1980s films. It was kind of awesome. Normally I go over to my cousins and we watch a TV show. So far we've watched Leverage and Rizzoli & Isles, both great stories with good plot lines and the unfortunate timing to not have the newest seasons out yet. Instead of starting another show that only has one season out yet we watched "16 Candles" and "Better Off Dead". Two fantastic movies that have landed in my favorite movies list.

I know this seems a rather random topic to go with the post title, but am getting to the horribleness. If you have not seen "16 Candles" I would suggest not reading this next paragraph. Ever. Actually, if you liked the movie you might not want to read it either.

The movie was cute, funny and had me totally caught up in the story. That is until I noticed something I could not unnotice. Jake Ryan, the main love interest, looks just like Edward. He has a similar hair style and the mannerisms are down right creepy, almost like what Edward would have been like if he wasn't an angsty, sparkly thing. The actor even had the same troubled/uncomfortable/constipated look... it was weird. Throughout the entire movie I was trying not to gag, I had an insane urge to stab a pencil in my eye. I really hate the Twilight saga. Like really, really dislike. If I could I would probably burn all the books. I know I should have said that Edward looked like Jake since that movie came out first (by about two decades), but since I saw Twilight first I cannot. Which majorly sucks.

Although, maybe I am the only one who sees it.

He has "Issues"

Now on to other things that really horrify me.

Comic sans. I feel like nothing more needs to be said for this. Nothing.

That moment when I take a sip of coffee and there is nothing in the mug. Then when I go to pour more in I find out there is nothing left in the carafe. It generally takes a few seconds for the horror to truly dawn on me, I drank all the damn coffee. Again. And Again I totally forgot the actual drinking part. Which sucks.

And the flip side of that problem. When I get so caught up in something I totally forget about my coffee until it colds, so I microwave it. And then forget about it again. There are only so many times you can reheat coffee without burning the crap out of it. Very few things taste nastier than burnt coffee. Or tepid coffee for that matter.

Um... I know there are other things that horrify me, but I can't think of anymore.

Mommy's out of school for the summer

One of the great things about having a parent who is a teacher is summer vacation, because they get it too. This means my mom is around all summer. Not that I've really had anytime in the last six years to spend with her. But it is nice to be able to hang out with mom and not have to work around her work schedule.

Poor mommy was sick this weekend, it was kind of nasty. She had really bad food poisoning, at least that's what she thinks. It was... bad. I ended up having to drive her to her last day of school, which wasn't to bad since I got free ice cream out of it. It was delicious.

Exciting things happened last week. When I went down to Lincoln I finally picked up my diploma, it's so pretty.  It only took me ten months to pick the stupid thing up. Four years to "earn" a diploma and I can't even be bothered to send in the letter with my home address on it. Fail.

I bought a black frame with matting, it is also pretty. It took me a good five minutes to get the stupid frame on the wall. In my college cheapness I bought a craptastic frame that has a hinged wall hook hangy thing. Everytime I would try to "catch" the hook on the nail it just collapsed. I almost dropped the frame (diploma and all) into the dark depths behind my dresser. The only wall space, and I do mean only, was right above my dresser... I was standing preciously on a folding chair and my dresser trying to hang a frame on a nail several feet above my head. I felt like an idiot. Apparently college does not give real world experience for mounting pictures on walls.

By the time I got the stupid thing up I pretty much fell over laughing. My sister didn't think it was quite as funny, but she found it amusing as well.

Summer time fun

There are several summer time activities that I absolutely love. My all time favorite has to be running through sprinklers. It's the hall mark of a great summer, if I don't end up running through sprinklers at some point it was a wasted summer.

The mist sprinklers (photo)

Of course there are several different types of sprinklers, some are more fun to run through than others.

Arched sprinkler that does nothing (photo)

Some of them are just horrible sprinklers, they don't get you wet, the don't water the lawn and their just kind or useless.

The ever awesome "broken" sprinkler (photo).

And then there is the most epic sprinkler ever. The broken one that shoots water up and all over the place, like a defunct fountain. Most definitely the best sprinklers ever. Unless you are actually trying to water your lawn, in which case, sucks to be you.

Must get them addicted young. (photo)

The worst food ideas

It has been a very long time since I've had Cheetos so I remedied the problem by buying the knock off brand. It was a bad idea. The top part of the bag was burnt, the middle was delicious and the bottom ones were dripping in oil. Not even joking, I picked one up and oil dropped off the end, super nasty like. I am very unhappy with this latest food disaster. When I buy something I have a reasonable expectation for decency. It doesn't have to be great, but it shouldn't be nasty either.

At least when I am making food if it's bad I have no one to blame but myself. Food manufacturer's have entire departments just for R&D, along with sample testing and lots of other crap.

A couple of weeks ago I decided I wanted to see what happened if I cooked an egg inside of a pancake. The idea came from watching my brother eat fried eggs on top of his pancake. I wondered if I could just fry an egg inside instead of using a different skillet. Lazy is my middle name.

The first few times the yoke was not cooked, at all. It wasn't even a little solid. I can happily say that I am sincerely glad it was not me eating them. It took me several tries to get the combination of batter, egg and heat. Once I'd mastered cooking the egg fully without burning the pancake I tried one out for myself. It was pretty good, not all that exciting, but yummy.

On a completely unrelated note, here is a set of graphs that would have made my history teacher cry. Complements of xkcd.

Ninja Turtles

I am molting. And it's not pretty

Baby oil is Nirvana.

The worst thing about sunburns is a few days later when skin starts sloughing off like a reptile replacing their scales. It's ugly. It's uncomfortable. It makes me grumpy. Who wants to run around flaking off little pieces of skin?

Plus trying to put anything on a peeling sunburn can be excruciatingly painful. Enough to make me want to run screaming and bash my head through the wall. Even if that wouldn't make me feel better it might be enough so that I pass out for a few hours. I've been running around with an ice pack practically attached to different parts of my body. The skin right under my collar bones is the worst, I move at all and causes this rippling burning sensation. Super painful. Makes it hard to think about anything else.

Which brings me to my next point. Baby oil is Nirvana. It is the only stuff I've been able to put on that doesn't feel like I am dumping molten lava into an open wound. The stuff is fantastic. The only detriment is that I now smell like a baby. And not in a good way. It's that weird kind of stuffy baby smell. At least I don't smell like a dirty baby, so it could be much worse.

I think that sunburns give me a major case ditsy (okay so it's probably not the sunburn, but I like being able to blame it on something other than myself). This week has been full of "Oh... um. My bad?" I dislike being so oblivious. Every single time I've done something stupid it's been in the kitchen.

Mom was getting ready for a picnic lunch and I decided to help her prep the food. She handed me a bunch of celery, told me to slice it up for the potato salad. I grabbed the huge bunch and chopped the bottom off. My mother flipped, apparently we only needed about three stalks instead of all of them. Well, to redeem my failure I decided to help mom peel the eggs, since she wasn't doing a good job. In high school I'd worked on salad bar prep and I remembered how much easier it is to peel eggs if you roll it across the counter, crushing the entire shell (it's pretty cool, it pops right off). I had forgotten that those eggs had been cooled, not straight out of the pot. It seems that just cooked hard boiled eggs will smoosh, all over the place, if you wake them on the counter. Yeah... I then ended up putting a dirty bowl in the pot of cooked potatoes. It was in the sink and I'd thought it was filled with soaking water, not potatoes. My mother was not happy.

Sadly, that was not the end of my reign of terror.

The next day I was cleaning the kitchen and the sink was not draining. Since the clog was on the disposal side I turned it on to take care of the problem. The sink started shaking and it sounded horrible. I thought it might blow up so I turned it off and left the sink alone. The sink seemed to be doing fine and I forgot all about the weird noises. Suppertime rolled around and I tried to open a jar of pesto and ended up dumping oil all over the counter. All over it. Since I had messed up the counter I opted to clean the kitchen after everyone was done eating. The cleaning went just fine, until I knocked over mom's pill box. It fell on the floor, spilled the contents and broke a piece off (mom duck taped it back on). It was about that time I realized the dishrag was missing. I hadn't seen it all day. Yeah, it was in the garbage disposal.

Unfortunately mom still hasn't banned me from the kitchen.

Pennies and dimes for a kiss

I heard a new song on the radio this weekend, it was repetitively annoying. One of those songs that get stuck in my head and never leave. Seriously, I will think the song is gone and then BAM a few weeks later I am humming. Any of my previous roommates can attest to this, much to their annoyance.

Anyway. I kind of like the song, but I love the music video. It is one of the funniest music videos I have ever seen. Ever. With the possible exception being the literal music video from the 80's.

Hmm... so I couldn't find the original version, but this is pretty awesome too. And no, the U.S. version does not work anymore, they lie.

Yes. It's pretty epic isn't it? Hehehe, I about fell over laughing the first few times I watched it.

I wish I had a walk in freezer

To hide all the dead bodies. Of course.

Not really. I want it so the next time I get sunburned I can just crawl into it for a few hours. Or so when I find my own method for cryogenic freezing I will already have an place to stash my body. Not that I particularly want to go into cryo, seems like a waste of time. Knowing my luck I would end up like Mr. Freeze from Batman, never able to leave the cold suit thingy.

This would not look good on me. (photo).

Saturday was my Mommy's birthday (she's real old) and we did a picnic lunch birthday party thing. I totally spaced grabbing sunscreen. So did everyone else in my family, we all got burned a little but I got burned a whole lot. It hurts, it hurts like crazy bad. Getting sunburned seems to short circuit my ability to critically analyze ideas. Not like that particular ability is stable normally (hah, never). Because of that I now have a list of things you should never put on your sunburned skin.

Things that don't work on sunburns:
1.Body scrub
(bad, bad idea. I thought that if I used something that exfoliates skin it would help scrap off the burnt skin and I would get better faster. I have no idea if that actually worked, all I know is that if felt like rubbing my skin with sand paper. Not fun).

2. Vitamin E cream
(It just doesn't do anything, it hurts to rub on and does nothing useful).

3. Pain-a-trate
(It's basically the equivalent of icy/hot, I did not know that when I put it on. I would not have tried to use if if I had known that. I just thought it was a topical cream that numbed the skin, which sounded fabulous).

4. Clothes
(Sunburns make me want to join an indoor nudist colony).

Things that work on sunburns:
1. Aloe
(It's the most wonderful stuff ever. Unless it's straight from the plant, in which case it smells awful).

2. Ice
(I am not sure if this actually helps but it makes me feel better).

Common courtesies

Seriously people, I would love it if when I was being lied to the person would take the time to make sure the story could hold water. Or jello. Hell I would be down if it could hold a freaking brick. I consider it to be a common courtesy to not lie. But if someone is going to than it's a common courtesy to tell an interesting story. If  you're going to lie make it good. Make sure the story makes sense and doesn't contradict something you said yesterday, or this morning, or five minutes ago.

I am not a complete idiot and I get highly offended when someone lies blatantly to my face and then tries to make it sound like I just didn't understand. I understand perfectly and I can guarantee that if someone continually lies to me I am not going to believe a word out of their mouth. Ever. And if you are someone who lies please do not get super offended when no one believes you anymore. Either that or take lying to a professional level.

Here is a list of professions almost required to lie:
1. Politicians
2. Lawyers
3. Hotel concierge
4. Dressing room attendant
5. Actors/Actresses
6. Writers

She loves me a lot

Grade school children and be sweetly naive. I remember doing lots of stupid stuff when I was that age, making dandelion chains, believing boys had cooties and killing daddy long leg spiders (they're super creepy, almost as creepy as the spiders I found in my dorm room two years ago). My friends and I used flowers to determine if our crushes liked us back, I am sure most of you know what I am talking about.

Pick me! Pick me! Pick me!

My older brother was an adorable child, he also had an interesting way of pulling off petals. Instead of doing the normal "she loves me" or "she doesn't love me." He used to pluck the petals and say "she loves me" and then the next petal would be "she loves me a lot." He obviously didn't understand the principle of negative prospects. 

Of course now he has been happily married for ... six years. It might be seven years this summer. Wow, that is a long time. So he had a good reason for believing she loved him a lot.

Museum of childhood horrors

I had a flash back to one of the stupidest things I did as a child. It was not a memory I particularly wanted to think about. I might have been four, maybe five, when I it happened. I pressed my hands into the rough wooden fence and slid my hands about a foot, that was when I pulled my hands away because they hurt.

Yeah. I was not the most intelligent child. I remember running home crying. My father plopped me down into a chair and attacked my hands with tweezers and a pocket knife. It took over two hours to get most of the splinters out. Two hours of sitting in a chair while my father dug into my hands with sharp objects. He spent the entire time lecturing me. It went something like this:

Daddy: "What were you thinking?"
Me: "I don't know."
Daddy: "Well, why did you do it?"
Me: "I don't know."
Daddy: "Didn't you realize it would hurt?"
Me: "Yes."
Daddy: "Then why did you do it?"
Me: "I don't know."
Daddy: "Did you want to get hurt?"
Me: "No."
Daddy: "Then why did you do it?"
Me: "I don't know."
Daddy: "Did you think it wouldn't give you splinters?"
Me: "No."
Daddy: "Then why did you do that?"
Me: "I don't know."

Brain damage! (shout out to Bill Cosby. I love him.)

Thinking back on it I am still not sure why I did it. I vaguely remember thinking it wouldn't hurt that badly and that I was tough so it wouldn't matter. Like I said, I was not the most intelligent child. It took me years to be able to walk past a wooden fence without wanting to cry. I still don't like to handle wooden objects, especially wooden cooking spoons (they really freak me out).

Surprise, I am the new cookie monster

Yesterday something incredibly exciting and disappointing happened. I found some Tazo Focus tea, it was hiding in my Celestial Seasonings English Breakfast tea box. Very exciting stuff. I have been craving a cup of Tazo Focus for months. Literally months. Since last November, or maybe October, can't remember. There is not a store in Casper that carries the stuff. The closest store that has it stocked was Fort Collins, Colorado. I am not willing to drive down to Fort Collins for a four dollar box of tea.

Especially not this tea. It's not the best tasting stuff in the world, it is kind of nasty tasting. But like circus peanuts I occasionally get a craving for it. It's made out of yerba matte, black tea, orange essence and coca peel. Yeah, it's odd. The first sip is extremely chocolaty but after that it's pretty good. Packed full of caffeine, there is an insane amount of caffeine in Focus tea. Well, to be honest, there is a lot of caffeine in most black teas.

(photo)

Anyway. I got super excited when I found the tea bags. I immediately went and made myself a cup. It was weird, and not weird how I remembered it. That could have been because I put some milk in it. It might have been fine but the only milk I could find was canned... not the best choice.

It was kind of a let down.

But last night was a ton of fun. My sister took me out for Thankful Thursday at the Beacon, it's a country bar. Thankful Thursday is a weekly event and auction to raise money for various groups. This week was for the Reach 4A Star riding academy, they basically do what my best friend wants to do when she "grows-up" if that ever happens (no she is pretty much already there). The auction is hosted by Radio Rick, a local DJ and radio talk show host. It was a super fun night, I especially like the "bidding" wars. Not that anything got outrageously expensive, but they had a shiny box of Godiva chocolates that could not be sold. Someone ended up buying them and re-donating them, my sister eventually ended up getting them because she wanted the shiny box. It was great.

Death to dishwasher

Our dishwasher died yesterday morning. It was rather tragic, mostly because I do not want to hand wash everyone else's dishes. The handle broke and when mommy attempted to fix it via her normal methods (attacking with a butter knife) it didn't work. Thankfully we have a new handle and everything should go back to normal. At least as normal as it every is.

My life is just sooo exciting. Not.

Working with the public

Apparently the book review idea was a flop, seeing as how I have yet to write one. Or start writing one. My mother has finally set down an ultimatum about me finding a job and it really sucks. I know I need to find a job, but what she wants is just sooo not going to happen. Because there is no way I am giving her the satisfaction of me not having a job by next week. Part of the problem was I had (and this is mostly past tense now) no idea what I wanted to do, in the long run. I couldn't decide between working a crap job and going to grad school for an MFA in creative writing or trying to get a career type job in the communication field.

After four years of studying communication I kind of don't want to work in that area. It's fun, it's kind of fulfilling, but it's also really difficult to find a company whose morals I agree with. And that's something I have never gotten my parents to understand. When working in a public relations job it's not about the products, it's all about the company and it's reputation. If the company doesn't live up to that reputation then I have been selling a lie. I don't like selling lies, I hate feeling like I duped someone. It's unpleasant, unprofessional, and it happens all the time. Most people aren't even aware of the messages they're being fed, of the half truths a company spouts off after a major disaster. I could be a great asset to a PR team, but I don't want to be. I'd like to believe I still have morals.

Not that all companies are evil, most aren't, but people in power have a nasty habit of trying to spin things instead of being honest. The general public is a lot more forgiving of an honest company that apologizes for a mistake than a company that tries to cover one up. And it's almost always up to the crisis PR team to convince the CEO that the best answer is honesty.

You can run, but you can't hide.

From responsibility. It will find you. The longer you run the harder it will hit.

A true statement brought to you by someone who has been running for a long time and is not looking forward to the comeuppance I am about to receive.

The worst thing about being an adult is that it is your fault when things don't get done on time. I can no longer blame my parents, my teachers, friends or siblings if my life is falling apart. It's all me. Not exactly an easy thing to admit.

I originally decided to stop blogging because I felt it would leave me with more time to work on my manuscripts. That was a joke. I tried... who am I kidding. I never even opened the documents. I looked into my writing folder and promptly fled. I couldn't handle the failure that is innate in writing. The days spent tied to a chair, fingers flying across the keyboard in a desperate attempt to drag something out of my brain. I don't know of any other career area that has the same level of epic failure. Maybe art, or acting. Those areas have the same problem. An over abundance of people trying to break-out, break-in or just break something.

Makes it difficult to do anything worth while.

Plus the number of horrible books that have been published makes me sick. I can't believe some of the crap that is out there. It's ridiculous. And the fact that some people like it is mind blowing. I think everyone should take a rhetoric class, maybe then the level of crap would decrease (in my happy world it does).

So starting sometime later this week I am going to be doing book reviews, mostly because I had a friend as me to give her a list of books that are worth reading. And to go along with the list I am going to give her reviews so she has an easier time choosing.

Getting caught really hurts and may end in death.

bye bye baby

Until further notice I am temporarily suspending this blog, it got in major trouble and must be punished. But seriously, I will not be posting anything for a while, some stuff has come up that makes it highly unlikely I will have the time or energy to blog. This is only a temporary situation and semi-regular posting should resume in a few months.

Sorry about the delay.

My life

I don't need perfect. I just need possible.

Showering in the space time continuum

I got up freakishly early today, for a variety of reasons. First off I had lost one of my pillows sometime in the night, this is highly disturbing because then I am not cocooned in by pockets of cottony goodness and can't sleep. Then my mother came in, don't even know how early that is, and wanted to talk about me getting a job. And finally I got out of bed, before 9 a.m. (which is just wrong) because the newest resident got hired and needed to take a drug test. Which I then didn't have to take him too, so really I should be back in bed sleeping right now. But I drank to much coffee.

Mommy always turns the dishwasher on right before she leaves for school (she's a teacher, not a student). Normally this doesn't cause any problems, but since I was up so early I wanted to take a shower. Unfortunately someone got in before me, that combined with the dishwasher means I had a cold shower. Cold showers make me extremely grumpy. I tend to take that out on other people in any way I can. Including barraging them with stupid stories from college. It was great.

A COLD shower? I kill you! (photo)

What's even better is that now I am in the house alone, well except for the dog, the cat and the lurking spider (aka my brother). 

While attempting to decide what I should blog about today I ended up letting my coffee get cold. I decided to nuke it and pray the microwave didn't just burn it (it always does anyway, and I drink it anyway). I opened the microwave and there was a plate, an empty dinner plate, just sitting in the middle of the glass tray. It was the most bizarre thing ever. Which can all be explained by the fact that my mother constantly breaks the space time continuum (it's possible!), it must have gotten tired of it and started pushing all of her crap back into the real dimension. Let's just hope that doesn't happen inside somebody's head. Unless it's the lurking spider, he can get a plate in the head, it would be funny.

If they space time continuum was a person it would totally be  him. (Photo)