I am molting. And it's not pretty

Baby oil is Nirvana.

The worst thing about sunburns is a few days later when skin starts sloughing off like a reptile replacing their scales. It's ugly. It's uncomfortable. It makes me grumpy. Who wants to run around flaking off little pieces of skin?

Plus trying to put anything on a peeling sunburn can be excruciatingly painful. Enough to make me want to run screaming and bash my head through the wall. Even if that wouldn't make me feel better it might be enough so that I pass out for a few hours. I've been running around with an ice pack practically attached to different parts of my body. The skin right under my collar bones is the worst, I move at all and causes this rippling burning sensation. Super painful. Makes it hard to think about anything else.

Which brings me to my next point. Baby oil is Nirvana. It is the only stuff I've been able to put on that doesn't feel like I am dumping molten lava into an open wound. The stuff is fantastic. The only detriment is that I now smell like a baby. And not in a good way. It's that weird kind of stuffy baby smell. At least I don't smell like a dirty baby, so it could be much worse.

I think that sunburns give me a major case ditsy (okay so it's probably not the sunburn, but I like being able to blame it on something other than myself). This week has been full of "Oh... um. My bad?" I dislike being so oblivious. Every single time I've done something stupid it's been in the kitchen.

Mom was getting ready for a picnic lunch and I decided to help her prep the food. She handed me a bunch of celery, told me to slice it up for the potato salad. I grabbed the huge bunch and chopped the bottom off. My mother flipped, apparently we only needed about three stalks instead of all of them. Well, to redeem my failure I decided to help mom peel the eggs, since she wasn't doing a good job. In high school I'd worked on salad bar prep and I remembered how much easier it is to peel eggs if you roll it across the counter, crushing the entire shell (it's pretty cool, it pops right off). I had forgotten that those eggs had been cooled, not straight out of the pot. It seems that just cooked hard boiled eggs will smoosh, all over the place, if you wake them on the counter. Yeah... I then ended up putting a dirty bowl in the pot of cooked potatoes. It was in the sink and I'd thought it was filled with soaking water, not potatoes. My mother was not happy.

Sadly, that was not the end of my reign of terror.

The next day I was cleaning the kitchen and the sink was not draining. Since the clog was on the disposal side I turned it on to take care of the problem. The sink started shaking and it sounded horrible. I thought it might blow up so I turned it off and left the sink alone. The sink seemed to be doing fine and I forgot all about the weird noises. Suppertime rolled around and I tried to open a jar of pesto and ended up dumping oil all over the counter. All over it. Since I had messed up the counter I opted to clean the kitchen after everyone was done eating. The cleaning went just fine, until I knocked over mom's pill box. It fell on the floor, spilled the contents and broke a piece off (mom duck taped it back on). It was about that time I realized the dishrag was missing. I hadn't seen it all day. Yeah, it was in the garbage disposal.

Unfortunately mom still hasn't banned me from the kitchen.