Would you like a cucumber, oh wait, that's a zucchini

I did more training at work this week, but this time I got to do the cooking. It was fun, kind of terrifying when you look up and see a whole bunch of tickets hanging and you can't read the hand writing very well and you aren't sure how to make the orders. All things considered it went okay. None of the orders got messed up and everyone seemed happy and full when they left. Being a restraunt we really can't ask for more. Just happy costumers and really good food.

The most difficult part was not getting pickle juice all over the sandwiches. We use a lettuce leaf, an orange slice and a pickle as a garnish. It looks good, tastes good and has a bad habit of getting pickle juice all over the plate and coincidentally the sandwiches we put on the plate.

I guess this might have been more amusing if I'd already posted the stories about the espresso machine. That just means you get to anticipate the awesomeness. Hopefully that will get done sometime this week... I see you judging me. And I'd have to agree. Probably not going to happen.

Coming soon. Why adding avocado to a panini can make a mess.

mmm. A surprisingly soon fail

I wish I could say I had a bunch of stuff to blog about. And I do, sort of. This last week at work was kind of crazy. I ended up working 8.5-9 hours most days with practically no breaks. Not that I couldn't have taken a break, but it always feels like if I sit down shit is not going to get done. Sadly that is very true. The things I planned to blog about ended up not happening because of timing and really, really shitty internet. I can't even begin to express how sloooooow it is.

Although all that aside, today was like the day from hell. Not even joking. It started around 3 or 5 this morning when my cat would not shut up... If it wasn't for the fact that I don't believe in animal abuse and that I don't own a gun I would have shot the stupid thing. Okay that's not true. I wouldn't have shot Beast even if I did own a gun. But it does make me think I need to buy a spray bottle and squirt him when he goes off. It's sooo irritating.

Starting off the morning with a lack of sleep is horrible, what's even worse is when you keep walking up a pathetic mewling meow. And then realizing you slept past your alarm clock and have less then twenty minutes to get dressed and to work. When it takes about 20 minutes to get to work on a good day. It was not a pleasant start. And it only got worse when I couldn't find my glasses. And then I couldn't find my keys... Even after trashing my room I couldn't find them. I ended up going to work with my spare car key. Work was one disaster after another. I kept getting the orders wrong and knocking glasses full of liquid on the floor.

Thankfully I got to go home early and take a much needed breather before my aikido class that night. I ended up finding my keys buried in my bedding. Who sleeps with their keys? I mean, really. I almost nailed a freaking shopping cart in the middle of the high way on my way to class. I am so thankful I didn't, but still. Why the hell was their a freaking shopping card in the dark in the middle of road with a relatively high speed limit.

Then I ended up not even finishing this post for almost a week. That week just knocked me out of my routine and I just could not find the energy to care about blogging. Which in turn kind of stressed me out. Funny how everything manages to get more stressful when one thing goes wrong.

High school Mishi

It has recently dawned on my that I was crazy in high school. And not for the usual reasons. I thought I was super fat in high school, having graduated from college being a good chunk heavier I know that to be false. But I don't think I ever had clothes that fit right. A few months back (last November) we moved into a new house and I have slowly been going through super old boxes. I've found several outfits that fit correctly, but I bought them in high school... I clearly had no idea how to dress in high school.

Thankfully I had a few wonderful friends who pulled me out of my dike phase. It was unpleasant. The pictures are awful. But at least the clothes were comfy. Even if I did look like a more mature version of Justin Beiber. Okay so that isn't really true, but it's a rather amusing comparison.

Anyway, it was a nice change to put on clothes that fit instead of finding them to small. That always really sucks. Especially if they used to be baggy. Talk about a major ego bust. I used to keep clothes that were to small because "I was going to loose weight" and be able to fit in them again. Yeah. Talk about majorly delusional. If I do loose a bunch of weight it means I deserve to buy myself new clothes.

Products that fail

I have been meaning to write about this for probably six months or more. So this is not going to be a completely accurate account of the things that happened. More of a vague I kind of remember that tasting freaking awful.

Chocolate filled Twinkies. I don't know why I thought it would taste okay. Normal Twinkies are the nastiest thing I've ever eaten. With the exception of that time in seventh grade when we put ranch dressing on Twinkies. *shudder*

The chocolate ones tasted disgusting. It was like someone took baking soda and oil and a little bit of coco powder and stuffed it inside something that should never be called food. I am unclear on what happened with the Hostess situation but if they never make Twinkies again I would not be sad. Although I have heard that a deep fried Twinkie is delectable.

Next up would be Pez. My loverly mother bought me an Iron Man Pez dispenser (it's super cool). But the candy was no good. Especially after it sat around in my room for a few months. That was just weird. It was alternately soggy and stale. Not that it was actually soggy, it just tasted like what I think soggy food would taste like.

The last item for now is those flavor milk straw things. I tried to look up the name but all I got were milk snakes. Fail google. *sigh* if my internet connection was better (as in didn't drop for several minutes ever hour) I would spend more time finding the name. As is it won't really hurt my sad little review. Those things suck. Granted I only tried the banana flavored one, but still. It tasted like bananas for the first sip and after that it was slightly sugary milk. Not impressed. The chocolate ones might work better but I am loath to try. It didn't even help to leave the straw in the cup of milk for a few minutes. Then it was just room temperature sugary milk. Soy milk worked better, but not by much and I think that was because the vanilla soy milk occasionally tastes kind of like bananas anyway.


And now for a funny. This has absolutely nothing to do with this post but a friend shared it with me and now I feel the need to share it with you.

Learning to fail in new and interesting ways

Normally I don't do new year resolutions. I feel like if I make a list I will just fail miserably. Mostly because I used to have a rather large self destructive streak. I still do at times, but living with only myself to answer to has gone a long way to tone that down. Way, way down. It's kind of nice.

That being said, I think I am going to do resolutions this year.

So without further ado, my stuningly long list of resolutions:

1. Blog everyday this year. (And I'm already behind. Fail. But not for long)
2. Finish a manuscript. (I have never finished a story in my life. I know, it's almost unbelievable)
3. Apply to grad school (really this should be under the 2nd because without a finished manuscript I can't apply. Hence my lack of applying in the last two years.)

For the most part it won't be super difficult. If I work a little on them each day it will be totally possible.

I might just take a page out of Justin's blog and pick topics for each month. Or actually check Brittany's blog, she always has funny pictures up (her blog is totally awesome). Because nothing says original like "hey I found this on someone else's blog..."

I hope you all had a fabulous holiday season.

Meh.

2012.

Last year was definitely a meh year. Nothing horrifically tragic happened (to me anyway) and nothing overtly fabulous happened either. The year started with me being jobless, totally broke and living in a storage unit sized room in my parents house. It ended with me still totally broke, only now I am living in a spacious basement room (still in my parents house). All in all not very many exciting things happened. Mostly cuz I didn't try.

The most exciting moments were the few road trips I took, one to Lincoln, two or three to Loveland... and that's it. One of my very bestest friends pseudo graduated in May, but technically she'd received her diploma in December of 2011. So that really didn't happen last year.

A few of my other good friends bought houses, insuring I felt like an abject failure at life. Which, sadly, at the moment is fairly accurate, if you go by normal standards. I'm not married, I don't have kids, I am not in a relationship (serious or otherwise), I don't have a career, I don't own a car, I'm no longer in school, I don't support myself financially and I haven't taken life seriously for a very, very long time.

And even with all of that I feel happier right now than I have for years. For the first time in my life I am not scrambling to please someone else. I don't have to worry about teachers, deadlines, horrible bosses, and family members pressuring me into choices I don't want. For the first time in a long time I feel free. 

Not to say I don't have responsibilities, because I do. I have an awesome job, a good boss and occasionally I have to explain to certain family members that I will not be going to church for now (it's so nice to be able to choose). But even with all of that I have a freedom of choice that most people don't.

For example, at the moment I have vibrantly purple hair. It's not outlandish and neon, it's a dark purple that looks fantastic. But I was the one who got to choose the color. Some of you who have known me for a long time might be wondering why I would find that so novel, knowing that I had purple hair in college. The job I have now is relatively liberating, the dress code is minimal and so long as I show up on time and work hard I can pretty much do what I want. It's awesome.

I feel like this is going to be a time in my life that I look back on fondly. I have no one to answer too except myself and I love it. I know eventually I might want a serious relationship and to be tied down to one place by owning a house, but right now all I really want is the freedom to roam. The knowledge that with enough effort and dedication I can go anywhere.

I will admit that at first that idea was terrifying. I spent almost an entire year vacillating about were I should go next, what specific path I should choose for a career. It was frustrating. Not having a set guideline for life. No syllabus, no grading rubric, no corporate latter to climb. Nothing but the wind and a million choices. Terrifying. Electric. Almost elemental.

After spending months uncertain about anything I can now say I know what I want. I've just realized that it doesn't particularly matter when it happens. I am going to go to grad school, hopefully I can get my applications in this year but even if I don't it will still be there next year. No matter what happens in the next few days, moths and years all I have to do is keep moving forward. The only thing that can ever get in the way is myself.