Christmas would rock if...

I got this Epic Mug from a friend. Just saying. Not hinting that someone should buy this for me at all (Hint: Buy it for me!)

Or you if you don't want to help my caffeine addiction this Epic Poster would be acceptable too.

I have about twenty posts that I have started in the last few months and never finished. I don't think I ever will. But in case I do they are going to be the most epically entertaining waste of time and thought process ever.

I'm supposed to know what?

Finals are fast approaching and I have not started to study. In fact I have not even begun to do the work that was assigned throughout the semester. On top of everything several of my friends are having relationship issues and it makes life slightly stressful. Plus people want me to stop drinking coffee.



That picture encapsulates my life at the moment. For more awesome pictures click here. Enjoy the pretty kitty.

Epic post part one

So, it has finally arrived. But not really.

Thanksgiving break was pretty epic. I managed to not only get my finger sliced open by Biter(my renaming of the family dog) but I also broke a toe and rolled my ankle(on a flat surface, I was walking along and then Bam, I am on the kitchen floor with a borderline sprained ankle).

I really wanted to make sweet potato curry ... but that didn't happen. I did get in trouble for making egg gravey with cumin, at first I thought it was because my sister didn't like the taste(true) but she was only mad because I use up all her cumin... oops. My brother really liked it, so I am considering it a win.

A few pieces of advices for people who never consider life, because otherwise they would not need it.

Dogs bite. Unless they are trained, puppies do not magically train themselves.

No matter how hard headed you are, a hard back book is harder. I would not suggest putting one one your pillow, when you go to bed you will have forgotten about it and it will hurt.

When offered the choice between a couch (not spelled coach) and a bed. Take the freaking bed. Even if the bed is in a moter home that could potential freeze at night. And anything is better than sleeping the in back seat of a car. Seatbelt buckles should die.

I have other stories about break (paint fumes) some of them are funny (the dog) some of them are awkward (eyeballs) some make me look like a terrible person (My poor editor in chief, You are awesome!) but I am to lazy to tell those now. What? I have to safe something for epic post 2.

Cooking Fiend

I love Barnes & Noble. Love it!

I just got three new cookbooks for super cheap. Ubber excited. Why?

Because I now have a curry cookbook that has recipes for curry powder, so I will never again have to buy curry powder in a can! Although I still probably will. I will be documenting all of my adventures.

P.S. I will still be doing my epic post. It will be awhile though. Life caught up to me and it is not willing to let go.

Epic Post

This would be an epic post, but I am feeling lazy. Not only am I super far behind on nanowrimo, I also forgot to write the articles for my school's newspaper (Oops, to my wonderful chief editor I'm sorry) and do various homework assignments. Plus I was bequeathed my dorm blog ... unfortunately there have been no post at all this year. I am debating if I want to keep it that way.

Anyway. I am going to have a freakishly awesome post about my Thanksgiving break. Be excited.

Essence of insanity

I have found the truth behind insanity. I blame it entirely on one thing. National Novel Writing Month. Just writing it makes me want to break down crying. I don't think it is physically possible to write 50,000 words in a month. For real. I want to shank something, preferably the pile of steaming crap I have spewed into a word document for the last ten days. By the time November ends I think I may well be dead.

Revenge of the Slow Cooker

More like, My revenge on the slow cooker! My Previous attempt at cooking sweet potatoes was a small disaster. This time I prevailed. Not only were the potatoes edible, they tasted pretty good. I ended up preparing them the same way, but instead of filling the slow cooker with water I only put a dab of water in the bottom and let them cook all night. Most delicious sweet potatoes ever.

Funny Quotes

I wasn't planning on posting anything, but this is was just to good to not share. I was working on homework with a friend and during a conversation about Seabiscuit when she said the following:

"I am better than you think you are."

Which is freakishly hilarious, what she had meant to say is that the story was based on the premise of "I am better than you think I am." The whole underdog story idea. Yay you thought I couldn't win, but I did, bitches!

It's started

The madness has commenced.

Here is where you will find the crap I have spewed fourth onto paper so far. None of it has been edited ... I was seriously considering not letting anyone near this draft, it is by far the worst thing I have ever written. Enjoy.

Please don't leave mean comments. Wait until it's edited to leave mean comments. Constructive comments are welcome anytime.

A warning

Tomorrow is going to be the first day of my slowly encroaching death, my final day of death will be Nov. 30. Why? Because I am a world class idiot. Because starting in 50 min the clock starts ticking. The countdown until the end of NaNoWriMo has begun.

In reality that means that I will, most likely, not be posting anything this month. Not a damn thing. Between righting 50,000 words, a short story, a research paper, two newspaper articles every week, another research paper, about twenty late assignments for stats, and a side project helping friends edit their papers, oh and work... can't for get that, I am going to be swamped in November. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

I am going to be a flaming bitch who is in likely hood going to develop caffeine allergies from the amount of coffee I will be consuming. On top of everything else that I am going to be doing I will also be making my Christmas presents, some paintings, scarfs and hats.

This next month is shaping up to be one of the busiest in my life and I planning on kicking ass. Or getting my ass kick. We'll see what happens.

Anyway the short of this post is to say that I will not be posting this next month in less some awesome freak event happens that must be shared... so I guess at some point I will be writing a something on here. I will also be posting a link to my other blog (yes I do have two blogs, Oh no!), the blog that is specifically for my stories. Be jealous.

Life is Hell

I have been having a few issues with my living arrangements, a friend made the mistake of asking me what I hated about it. Here is the list:

I want my own bathroom and kitchen, and I want to be able to control the god damn temperature in my room. I want windows that close on the first try and blinds that aren't nasty as shit. I want to be able to go to bed when I want without the fucking ra waking me up. I want a sink that is bigger than my ass. I want closer parker
parking. I want to be able to use any fucking door to exit that I feel like.
I want a room a that is bigger than a fucking storage unit. I want to be able to have a place to do homework where no one will interrupt me. I also want to be able to sleep with out being interrupted by assholes who think it is funny to blare their music in the parking lot at 1 o'clock in the fucking morning. I want to be able to paint my walls and have furniture that moves. I want to have my own room and I want to have my own writing studio. I want to make my own choices with health issues. I want internet that works. I want to live my life without a fucking dean breathing down my neck.

Basically every thing about the fucking dorm I am living in pisses me off. I hate it. I wake up every morning praying that I will have fallen into a coma while sleeping and am now over 22 so I can move out. I wake up hoping something tragic will happen that causes me to drop out of school until I am old enough to move "off campus" which is not off campus is fucking on campus housing, but no we can't call a dog a dog because then the school would actually have to let students live their own lives instead of living in the fucking bubble.

In my defense

My roommate has accused me of reading more than 100 books this semester. This is a lie, as such I am going to list all the books I've read since start of the school year.

1. Dead Witch Walking
2. The Good, the Bad, and the Undead
3. Every Which Way But Dead
4. A Fist Full of Charms
5. For a Few Demons More
6. Once Bitten, Twice Shy
7. Dhampire
8. The Atlantis Complex
9. Radiant Shadows
10. Sunshine
11. Once Bitten, Twice Shy
12. Chalice
13. The Blue Sword
14. Blood Price
15. The Outlaw Demon Wails
16. Blood Rites
17. Dead Beat
18. The Immortal... Or something like that, it was bad.


Short Story
1. A Study in Scarlet
2. Prom Dates From Hell

That is not any where near 100 books, it's not even a quarter of what she thought. Yes this post was entirely to vindicate myself.

Politics... what are those?

I wish I had listened in government class. The thought caught me cold this morning, never before have I wished to remember more about how my government is run. I honestly don't know much. I know that there are different parties and that those parties can hold a majority vote in the house/senate. I am not even sure that is right.

I feel like a sad excuse for an American. I pledge allegiance to a flag that represents our democracy and I don't even know how the fuck it works. I only know that most of the time it doesn't work right, because we are human and therefore screw-ups. I am supposed to write an article for my school newspaper about the people running... I don't know who is running much less what the fuck that even means. Epic fail.

I know more about the politics in my favorite book series than I do about my actual government. I could quote to you the different ways to kill a vampire or a hydra. I could tell you the best way to win a quest or the heart of your true love. But I can't explain the intricacies of the American government. I can explain historical governments, but ask me about popular culture or historical figures and I am out of the game. I have a vast area of useless knowledge at my finger tips. None of which is going to help me write this article as an informed journalist would.

Yay for bullshitting.

Cheese paste stuff

I was starving and wanted comfort food, and instead of macaroni I wanted crackers and cream cheese. Well the little corner story didn't have cream cheese. But they did have Joan of Arc: Brie, Soft Ripened Cheese, Double Creme.

Me, being the epitome of stupid, thought this was close enough to cream cheese to work... so not true. I should have realized from the epic failure of a box that it was going to end badly. It was a round box thing, it didn't close right from the get go and after opening it and taking out the plastic wrapped "goodness" it was definitely not going to close again.

Well the first few steps were odd I didn't think it was going all that bad. That was before I unwrapped the plastic covering the wheel of cheese. Under the wrapping was a weird white cardboardish surface. No tabs, to "cut here" lines. Just a solid white smoothish surface that resembled partially recycled paper. I pulled a little chunk off... there was soooo no way to peel that sucker off. One option down, I tried to pull more off and found that under the recycled cardboardish stuff was a hard chunk of cheese.

I am not a rocket scientist but even I realized that this particular substance was in no way shape of form a soft cheese. There was the distinct possibility of soft cheese under all of the protective cardboardiness hard stuff. I know this because the middle was squishy. Not squishy in the "rotten nastiness" sort of way, it was squishy in the "delectable fillings in a French pastry" sort of way.

Eventually after much sitting and staring and avoiding homework I decided the best way to get to the much anticipated smooth cheesyness was brute force. I was gonna tear that package open and show the bitch that designed the stupid contraption how a college student deals with things that piss them off late at night when they are hungry, angry and needing to simultaneously sleep and work.

It work. Broke in half like a charm. It was the darnedest thing. I finally had the cheese I wanted to spread on the crackers.

And it was fucking nasty. I was expecting smooth delicious fattening artery-clogging cream cheese. What I got was brie, which is not bad, it's just not cream cheese and should never be confused as such. I will never make that mistake again. Hopefully.

Comfort food

The last few days have been stressful. Hell the last few years have been stressful. College has kicked my posterior until all that is left is a bleeding chunk of raw flesh. A wonderful image to picture while eating. The more stressed I get the less I eat. It's not that I can't eat, just I forget. I don't realize I haven't eaten anything all day until my body protests by a gut wrenching pain that usually leaves me curled up in a ball dry heaving. It hasn't gotten that bad recently. Most people learn from their mistakes, I unfortunately have not learned from my past mistakes in this area.

Problem is that my body's need to eat reaction is extremely similar to my body's going to forcefully remove all food that's been eaten reaction. Meaning that I have to spend precious time figuring out if I need to eat or if I am sick. When I finally remember that I haven't eaten in more than 32 hours I am left gaging down nutrients, all the while wanting to project them across the room at record speed.

I have found a sort-of-remidy to prevent this unpleasant experience. Coffee! The one small problem is that it only works for a few hours... and in reality it makes things worse. Instead of just feeling like my stomach is becoming a morphias mass of imploding volcanic activity I also have the added pleasure of feeling like there is an earthquake when the caffeine gives me the jitters.

More NaNo stuff

I was reading a manga last night and found this page and couldn't help but apply it to my life and how I feel during NaNo. This is not my drawing, but I did change some of the words. Nor is it my scanlation. Basically I have no right to put this on my blog and if anyone wants me to take it down they can e-mail me and I will.

Enjoy.

Cars and bars

I parallel parked my car for the first time! Not only did I do that but I did it three times. What now? It was the first time I had ever attempted to parrallel park my car, and it was surprisingly easy, then again I have a tiny car. Super tiny. Not tiny like mini cooper tiny, but tiny like you will have no leg room in the back tiny.

This post has nothing to do with bars, but it rhymed with cars... stupid. Yes. But also badass... okay not really, but whatever.

I think I might have some strange disease, my hand itches like crazy. I really want to chop the stupid thing off so I can finally get some respite. Of course then I would have the horror of having a phantom itch for the rest of my life. Not something I am willing to live with. Plus I wouldn't be able to type... that would suck.

The NaNoWriMo Song

A dear friend of mine wrote this song parady and I thought it was to much fun and I that I must share it on my blog. So thank you my dear friend for creating such a wonderful mater piece.

To be sung to the tune of "Part of That World" from The Little Mermaid

Look at these words,
Aren't they just neat
Wouldn't you think my collection's complete?
Wouldn't you think I'm the girl,
The girl who writes all the things

Look at this page
Stories unfold
How many secrets can one sentence hold?
Looking around you would think:"She wrote everything!"

I've got widgets, and similies a-plenty
I've got run-ons and mixed metaphors
You want sub characters: I've got twenty!
But who cares! No big deal! I'll write more!

I'm ready to write all the things I write
I wanna see, wanna see my word count
Growing along with my... what's the word?
... Words!

Ready to write, ready to zoom,
Ready to stay all day in my room...
What could it be? Where will I be?
Writing more words!

What would I give, if I could type, straight from... my brain?
What would I give to spend a day away from my screen?

Bet you my friends don't understand,
They all think I'm off my rocker!
"NaNoWriMo, Oh my novel, Oh my handsssssssssssssssss!"

I'm ready have 50,000 words,
Ready to see all my friends and family,
Strolling around in the cool November... sun!
Ready to walk, ready to run
Ready to have my novel all done!

Crazy like me?
Wish you could be...
Part of my "world"?

Hello I am still here

I was talking to a few friends at the reception desk of my dorm when the following discussion ensued.

"I think you should dye your hair blond."

"No, she looks horrible blond. Brown is a much better color."

"No way. She looks like a little fairy when her hair is blond."

"Yeah but brown hair looks more natural and it brings out her eyes."

"But when her hair is short it looks better blond."

"Hmm... You're right. When her hair is short it looks cute blond."

Both turn and look at me.

"Dye your hair blond when it's short and dye it brown when it's long. Okay?"

I am not sure if I should find it funny or disturbing that my friends have arguments over my hair. I was a little perturbed that they had this conversation and basically ignored that I was standing there with them. It is nice that my friends care enough about my appearance to be able to argue over it... I guess. All in all I thought the exchange was amusing. I have gone to school with the girls since high school and they have watched me go through more hair colors and styles than most people do in their life times.

I have had my hair red, black, brown, blond, blue, purple, pink, mid-back, shoulder, cropped, ear-length and two-inches long in the last eight years. If I am going to be changing styles so often I probably shouldn't complain when friends pick favorites.

Almost anything goes

My school has a "game" night that creates unity by forcing the classes into mortal combat... Okay not really. But with they way some of my classmates acted last night I thought they were going to die if we lost. Not like that was possible.

I don't think we were ever not in the lead. I know we broke one school record, personally I think we broke two. My class was the first class in my schools history to win the game night all four years. Whoop-de-freaking-doo. We also took first place but for four events, in which we got second. By the last two events/games there was no possible way for us to lose.

Watching crazed college students in color coordinating outfits run around participating in stupid games was definitely worth the time I spent there. I can't remember all the games, but here is a run down of the basic logic defiying humiliation I went through for four years:

First event... maybe.

Imagine a two rows of senior college students facing each other. Now see them laying on a gym floor facing each other with about two feet between their faces. Then die laughing as they blow, yes blow, a ping pong ball down the line of people.

Second event

I always skip out on this event, unfortunately I was forced to participate at least once. The object of this trial is a big black inner tube. The success of the trial is running out to said inner tube holding hands with a classmate and then pulling the inner tube over your heads. Super awkward, but not the most awkward event of the night.

Third event... I have stopped even trying to remember the order.

Carrying M&M's, in a spoon, from one jar to another... not fun. Also another event I don't participate in.

Fourth event.

Blowing up a balloon while running from a corner of the gym to the middle while holding hands with a classmate, only to have said classmate sit on the balloon and pop it, once your in the middle. After the balloon is popped you run back to your corner of the gym to repeat the process.

Fifth event.

Tug 'a war. Does this need any more explanation?

Sixth event.

This event is a little awkward to explain. Basically there is a line of people on the floor and those people have to move a mattress back and fourth down the line with different people riding it... kinda like a magic carpet, but smelly and powered by people.

Seventh event.

A paper airplane folding extravaganza! Can you tell which event is my fav? I thinks so. The winner is the class that gets the most paper airplanes into a circle in five minutes. It's the only event where the gym stops becoming a mad cheering den and becomes a focused silent libraryesk experience.

There are also three other areas to score points: number of participants, decoration of corner, and class chant. I feel like I missing something, but it most not have been crucial if I didn't remember it. Speaking of people not remembering I am highly irritated at the personages in charge of this game night. They forgot to buy the ice cream, so during the ice cream break we got nothing. So aggravating.

But yes, my class created a first record. For our sake I hope someone other poor class with nothing better to do on a Saturday night soon joins the prestigious rank we have created.

On the weather

Last night a friend and I were discussing why the weather was want to change so drastically in such a sort amount of time. I told her how it was because the Fae courts were fighting and that in a few weeks Winter would win and we would all be freezing our arses off. This spawned a conversation about which legions were fighting and the likely hood that they would win soon.

My friend told me that she thought the Fae should just screw each other so as to keep a consistent temperature all year long. I am of the opinion that the weather changes would be more drastic if that was the case. If the weather is this bad when they are fighting imagine how bad it would be if they are having sex and aren't in control of their powers. It would be massive blizzards with random patches of over one hundred degrees.

She thought it would blend together nicely, but when dealing with the Fae it is best to assume worst case scenarios, since that is generally what happens.

I am not sure what is worse. The fact that we disagree or the fact that we argued and didn't find the topic strange... My life is so much fun sometimes.

Parents weekend

This weekend was an evil tease. I got to march in graduation regalia without actually getting my diploma. It was like a test run. You are graduating and we want to make sure you know it... Driving you insane is just a bonus. I hate people.

My parents came up (or down) to see me march. Which was a little ridiculous since they had to drive over 10 hours (each way) to see me for the grand total of one day, half of which was spend in church and then sleeping. So yeah. It was fun, I guess. I would have much preferred going home to my parents coming up, since now I will not be able to go home for my Mid-term break. Makes me irritable. I wanted to see my siblings (shocking) and my parents at home. Okay so mostly I just wanted to see the new puppy they got. It's super cute. It's a mix of German Sheppard and fence jumper. They don't know who daddy is.

We spend Saturday night at my friends house and my parents told all sorts of embarrassing stories. I was jealous because no one else's parents partook in the child jibing. Of course no one else's parents were present. So I decided to start telling stories about my best friend's fiancé. This lead to an interesting quote:

"Who needs a fiancé when you have your fiancée's best friend."

There are just so many things wrong with this situation. I can't even begin to explain the horror of the above comment being taken out of context. Since I was meaning why need a fiancé to tell embarrassing stories when her best friend is there to tell all the really bad ones. Not like that makes it sound better, just not as fucked up.

We played a kick ass game that night, Bang! Only one of the best simi-rpg card games out there. The game is super complicated, but these are the basic rules. Read that if you want it explained better.

Anyway at the very beginning of the game I killed off one of the players. Everyone got mad because he hadn't even had a turn to play. Which if you ask me just makes me awesome. But then we had a catch phrase for the rest of the day. Which was

"... Because Michelle is a jerk."

Everyone started using that at the end of a comment. So if they were going to shoot another player it was "Because Michelle is a jerk." Basically everything was my fault. Stupid people must not realize how real life works.

The weekend was lots of fun, but it was also extremely tiring. I want a week long vacation were I don't have to do anything.

TGIF: Awkward moments

Chunks of rock littered the yard making walking difficult. The weather had worn rivets in the stone slabs making the scratches unintelligibly and a lazy grounds keeper had let grass clippings cover the flat stones.

For those of you who didn't already realize it, I visited a graveyard today. Why? Well I have been meaning to pay my respects for a few friends and have never managed to make it out to their respective burial sites. I thought it would still be okay if I found a tombstone with the same name (only the same first name) and left flowers there. Unfortunately after trapezing around trying not to wake on someones grave I gave up. I couldn't find a single matching name. Instead of that I went and found the most unkempt graves and left a flower. I figured the people are probably so old that no one is alive who can take care of their graves, so they won't mind if a stranger leaves a flower. Right?

I hope they don't mind. I always get upset when I see a tombstone that can no longer be read. I can't express in words why it bothers me, it just does. So the least I can do for those people is to leave a small memento to the time they spent on earth.

It was much more awkward than I thought it would be to go to a graveyard. This was my second time visiting one and even though it was late afternoon and the sun was shining, the entire area gave this creepy vibe.

Anyway. I was going to talk about my second awkward moment of the day. My roommates family can to visit for the weekend (It's parents weekend at my school, which is, as the name implies, a weekend where parents come up and visit) and decided they wanted to see the room. I was in the middle of doing laundry. I had clothes hanging from my ceiling light. Not any bras, but still awkward. Plus I was wearing pajama capris and haven't shaved... in a while. You get the picture. It was not my most sterling moment.

So TGIF, because if this was any other day I would have to shoot myself. Oh and I have to march in my robe tomorrow. Not excited. Although I am pissed I don't get to wear my hood. I mean who makes college graduates wear their robes and not their hoods. Not that I wanted to wear the hood... It's just that I was forcing myself to get psyched about wearing one, and now we're not. It messes with my mental stability.

Motivation

Tomorrow is Friday! Which a huge deal because I have absolutely no motivation to do anything. This horrible because I am about five chapters behind in my statistics class. A friend in my writers group posted this video which I watched instead of doing homework. It is a great clip that I suggest you watch. It is great. I love the part about the genie that helps creative people be great.

My writers group is called "Tea with the Mad Hatters." It is the best group ever. A friend of mine decided to start a writers group and I was giddy when she asked me to join the group. It made me realize that other people think I can write too. Being recognized by other people makes me feel all warm in tingly inside, like I actually have a chance at doing this for a career.

Most of my group has decided to participate in NaNoWriMo. As I talked about earlier how I am also going to be participating. I am feeling anxious for November to start so I can begin working on the story that is coming together in my head. At the same time I don't want November to start because then I will be sleep deprived, caffeinated beyond reason and a crazed.

I told a friend what NaNoWriMo was and he didn't get it. He asked me if the novel was going to be published if I finished it in a month. When I told him that it wouldn't be unless I solicited it, he thought the whole thing crazy.

"What's the point of doing this?" was the question he asked.

I couldn't explain to him my reasoning behind wanting to do this. Wanting to write a novel in a month. Wanting to be crazed, depraved and insomniac from caffeine. If I succeed and write a novel in a month it means that I have done something very few people have done before. But it means more than just succeed at something most people will never try, it is a way to confirm that I can write. By participating in NaNoWriMo I am acknowledging my desire to be a writer. I am acknowledging my ability to write. I am acknowledging that I can be successful as a writer. Because the only way to succeed in the writing world is to write and to finish writing.

If I cannot every finish a manuscript I will never be a writer. To be able to write a story in a month is crazy, but the process of actually putting my story on paper will give me the confidence I need as a writer to continue. The confidence to move forward in life with gusto. And that is way I am participating in NaNoWriMo.

Urine Phone

A container with rice is sitting on my roommates desk. Her phone is in it.

Somewhere she heard that putting a phone that has gotten wet in rice will help dry it out. I am sure that if it was just water that would work for her. Unfortunately the peed on phone is not getting better. Even after the dip in rice. I hope for her sake that it works (I don't think it will).

This is just an average day in the room.

Waging war

The bloody and violent war for internet connection has continued. I have internet at the most inopportune time and when I desperately need it to do homework I cannot connect. I am going to have to follow through on my threat, the only problem is that I don't know where to buy dynamite... seriously where does one buy that?

This entire week so far has been shotty. Monday was from hell (as per usual) and I have been behind all week because of the crazy internet battle and my lack luster performance in school. I had a test in psych today that I found out about last night... I always seem to miss the really important classes. It's like I spend my whole life on the edge of almost making it, but still failing.

Early this week my and Roommate decided to go out and get a frosty from Wendy's, we got there at 12:03 a.m. Wendy's closes at midnight here. I was so pissed. Well not to be deterred by the upsetting closing time we headed across the street to McDonald's... they where also closed. We finally ended up finding an all night restaurant that we could buy a chocolate shake at, which we paid for in coins because we are broke... now completely broke.

And that is pretty much how my life always goes. Hey look you almost got what you want, but since you left late you get screwed.

High School

My first year of high school was spent at a tiny little church school. Tiny. I think there was less than thirty people in the whole school. There was less than ten people in my class, which was 9 & 10 combined class. We had this iguana named Godzuki that was freakishly awesome!

Anyway... I was going to talk about the theme song for that year. In the glory that comes with becoming a high school student the boys in the class, all two of them, decided they were enamored with the song "Stacy's Mom" by Fountains of Wayne. It played on Pandora today and I couldn't but think of my class bellowing that song in unison during lunch breaks. There were a few other songs that came and went that year, but Stacy's Mom was the only one that stuck all year.

For anyone who has never heard Stacy's Mom here are the lyrics:

Stacy's mom has got it goin' on
Stacy's mom has got it goin' on
Stacy's mom has got it goin' on
Stacy's mom has got it goin' on

Stacy, can I come over after school? (after school)
We can hang around by the pool (hang by the pool)
Did your mom get back from her business trip? (business trip)
Is she there, or is she trying to give me the slip? (give me the slip)

You know, I'm not the little boy that I used to be
I'm all grown up now, baby can't you see

Stacy's mom has got it goin' on
She's all I want and I've waited for so long
Stacy, can't you see you're just not the girl for me
I know it might be wrong but I'm in love with Stacy's mom

Stacy's mom has got it goin' on
Stacy's mom has got it goin' on

Stacy, do you remember when I mowed your lawn? (mowed your lawn)
Your mom came out with just a towel on (towel on)
I could tell she liked me from the way she stared (the way she stared)
And the way she said, "You missed a spot over there" (a spot over there)

And I know that you think it's just a fantasy
But since your dad walked out, your mom could use a guy like me

Stacy's mom has got it goin' on
She's all I want, and I've waited so long
Stacy, can't you see you're just not the girl for me
I know it might be wrong,
but I'm in love with Stacy's mom

Stacy's mom has got it goin' on
She's all I want and I've waited for so long,
Stacy can't you see your just not the girl for me,
I know it might be wrong but oh oh
(I know it might be wrong)
I'm in love with (Stacy's mom oh oh)
(Stacys mom oh oh)
I'm in love with Stacy's mom

Computer Bullshit

My computer has been unable to connect to the internet, my roommate has been obliging in letting me use hers. I sent an e-mail to the people in charge of the network. The dumbasses don't work on student computers and so I wanted to ensure they understood the problem was with the network and not my computer. I spent several hours working to ensure that I had tried every viable option before soliciting help. Below is the e-mail I sent to them.

My computer has been unable to connect to the network since last Thursday. I have done a ridiculous number of things to ensure that it is not my computer that is the problem. I have the correct information, the correct network and the correct network key. My internet setup is exactly the same as my roommates, whose computer I am using to write this e-mail, but I am unable to connect to the network. This is very frustrating, as a college student whose teachers assign loads of research I do not always have the option to go to a lab to do homework. I need to be able to connect to the network and since I am unable to do so I am seriously distraught. I would appreciate it if I could find out if my computer is still registered in the system, this is my fourth year at Union and I have never had any problems previously. Before being unable to connect to the network my computer said something about a duplicate on the network, I have no idea what that means, but after that I was unable to connect.

I just want to know if my computer is still in the system so I know if the problem is with my computer or is with Union's Network problems that cropped up last week. If you could let me know ASAP I would appreciate it. Seeing as how Union doesn't work on student computers anymore the sooner I know where the problem is the sooner I can finish my homework and get on with my life. Thank you for helping in this small way.

Sincerely,
Michelle Current

This is the e-mail I wanted to send.

Dear fuckers who insist nothing is wrong.

I have sacrificed four hours of my life to ensure that my computer could safely and accurately connect to the network. It does not. Because your dumbass fucking policy says that you are going to refuse to help poor lost souls who are paying your salary, yes I am paying you for shit service, I have taken matters into my own hands. If by tomorrow I do not have a constant connection to the network you will find a stick of dynamite shoved up your rectum. If that does not instill the desire to fix the network and allow my computer access I will light the fucking fuse. Please understand that I am a stressed college students whose professors do not understand the concept of grace or late work and as such I am in a constant state of sleep deprivation. It is a scientific fact that people who have been awake for over seventy-two hours are clinical insane. I do not remember the last time I got sleep and as such I am no longer in my right mind (I am not in my left mind either).

The dynamite is not a threat, it is merely a tool to inspire the right thought process in the paeans who work for the man that fucks the internet connection every night. With all my regards please fix the connection now.

Sincerely,
A mentally deranged student.

I wanted someone to appreciate the fact that I did not send the above letter. I really wanted to, but my roommate told me that I couldn't use her computer if I was going to be sending profanity. I don't understand how she thinks that letter is profane.

Irony of irony is that within minutes of sending the e-mail my computer connected to the network. Fuck my life. I refuse to send an e-mail stating that the connection works until it has been consistent for more than 24 hours.

Jokes and sweet potatoes

Three sweet potatoes/yams have been sitting on my desk for almost a month. I have been meaning to go over my friends apartment and bake them, but I never have time. One of my friends told me that if I stuck them in a slow cooker with some water, they would be edible. My sister also agreed with this assessment, so began the perilous journey of sweet potato soup.

I skinned the first sweet potato and it was the weirdest thing ever. It looked like a giant orange rock. No joke. I thought I had found some mystic stone that would imbue my slow cooker to always make great soup, but alas no, that definitely did not happen. After cutting up the first naked sweet potato I realized that only one would fit in my itty-bitty teeny-weeny white-ceramic pretty. Okay... that was stupid. But yeah, the one sweet potato filled up the entire slow cooker.

I wasn't sure how much water to put in, and so I filled the slow cooker almost to the top, so all the slices where touching water, if not submerged completely. Did I already mention how small the slow cooker is? Yeah it's tiny. About a third the size of a normal slow cooker. It is a one person serving size. Unless it comes to sweet potatoes, than it's not.

Supposedly it takes around seven hours to cook sweet potatoes... that is unless you put to much water in the slow cooker. Than it only takes about two hours, and you get water tasting sweet potatoes. Weirdest thing I have eaten in long time.

With some salt and butter and mashed up (which was easy since the water-logged slices fell apart) it wasn't the worst thing I have ever tasted. It was just a weird consistency, it was not the same as when they are baked.

Anyway. On a completely unrelated note a friend sent me this link and I wanted to share it because it was so funny. For any one who has/or will participate in NaNoWriMo this should give you a smile.

nano wrimo

Enjoy the jokes at another's expense.

Life's a bitch

My poor poor roommate. I feel so bad for her. She babysits these kids, I think there are three, and one of the kids is a baby dinosaur. I kid not, that freaking child snores like she is a 300 pound man. These deep loud inhalations followed by a nails on chalk board screech. Most monstrous sound ever. And it is a six-year-old sleeping. Basically my roommate is constantly sleep deprived.

Well a few mornings ago she woke up wet. The girl had crawled in bed with her again and peed her pants. Worse yet was that the girl had been on top of my roommates phone at the time of the incident. She tried turning the phone on, but it wouldn't work after it's body fluid saturation. Upon opening the phone to check out the battery, instead of finding a battery she found a hunk of fried electronic floating in urine. Not a good way to start the day.

The sad thing is that stuff like that happens all the time to her. A few weeks ago she picked up a woman on the side of the road (She is way to nice and is going to get seriously hurt one of these days, she doesn't believe me though). The lady she picked up was crazy. Straight up out of her mind on stuff. Well my roommate went to drive the lady home and on the way they lady threw up on a target bag (they had just been shopping there). To make matters worse the lady left her bag of throw up in the backseat when she was dropped off. She left her vomit sitting in a non-seal-able bag in a strangers backseat. That is just so wrong.

Anyway, my poor roommate has tons of unfortunate things happen to her, like people peeing on her phone and puking in her backseat. But she has the coolest roommate ever. True story.

We do have a ton of fun (when she isn't working) hanging out together. We do random things. Like singing Disney songs all night, or covering desks in Naked Juice labels (her desk is covered and it is Awesome!). Basically we do a lot of chill things to help us unwind and not commit suicide before graduating from college (cuz afterwards will be totally fine, just kidding).

But life is crazy and I am glad I have such a sweet person living with me in the cramped hell hole that is my dorm.

Crazy Cults

I have thought of a way to fix about 90% of the worlds problems, what the world needs is a crazy cult to focus on so that everyone can stop bickering about different religions. However as I was on the verge of exploring this wonderful idea on of my friends pointed out that we have a crazy cult.

Twilight.

I don't think there needs to be anymore explanation.

My roommate is crazy

I was sitting on my couch maniacally pounding on my keyboard wishing desperately for the words to come when my roommate looks up and says, "Your so cute Michelle." I am not sure what inspired her to say that when I am looking like a deranged monkey that lost it's tail sitting on a couch. Her comment has lead me to believe that she is stark raving mad. Quite a compliment from me. But seriously, I don't understand.

I love my roommate, she is so funny. She is a nursing major who works nights and I probably only see her every few days, it makes the room kinda lonely at times, but it's all good. She is also very blonde at times. I tease her because of guilt, I feel guilty because she has the same problems I do, she is cursed by a subconscious that likes steal thoughts out of the conscious mind rendering the person unable to remember anything but basic motor functions. Although I lose even that sometimes.

The best thing about my roommate is that she willingly sings Disney songs in the room at the top of her lungs with me. The times people ask us to shut up (always) we take a car for a drive so that we can sing and not bother people. It is so exhilarating. There is nothing quit as therapeutic as screaming your lungs out in a car to the approximate tune of a favorite childhood song.

I have lots of other fun adventures with my roommate, and I will be sure to document the ones in the future. She is an awesome girl who is just enough off kilter for us to be great friends.

Nanowrimo

November is National Novel Writers Month. Why am I pointing this out at the beginning of September? Because I just signed up to do it. For those of you who don't know NaNoWriMo is an entire month that is dedicated to writing a novel, to be more specific it is giving writers a specific time and amount. 30 days to write 50,000 words. Which is approximately 174 pages.

This is my first year participating and I don't think I will be able to meet the 50,000 words by the deadline. I would need to write 1,667 words a day to make the deadline.

I always thought it was called a deadline because by the time you actually made it across you were dead. At least that is what it seems like in my college classes.

You may be wondering why I would subject myself to such a brutal program. Why would anyone try pump out that many words in one month? Honestly I don't know. I just know that I want to try, that I want to pour out all of my creativity on this project. I know I will hit the point when everything seems hopeless when the words won't come, but I am going to write anyway. It is a challenge that will force me to grow as a writer. And probably not sleep for a month as well.

Labor day fun

A long weekend ended in a rather humorous way and the week started rather unpleasantly. I set my alarm clock last night for just after 8, when it went off I almost threw it across the room to shut the stupid thing off. I reset my alarm for later and actually got up when it went off that time. After taking a shower I noticed that my wall clock had the wrong time on it. It was an hour ahead. At least it was an hour ahead of my alarm clock.

Some how my alarm clock had gotten an hour ahead and instead of going off around 8 a.m. it went off around 7 a.m. which explains why I could not wake up. Today started off earlier than necessary and yesterday started with my puking my guts out.

I wasn't feeling good and one of my friends gave me some vitamin pills, not knowing I hadn't eaten anything yet, and apparently if I can't take vitamins without eating something first. It was the fist time in almost six years, that I can remember, that I had thrown up. Most of the time I just sit in a huddle and pray the pain will go away!

I had spent the day before at the ren fest in Kansas City and on the way home a friend bought me KitKat bar that I accidentally let melt before being able to eat it. I put in the freezer when I got home last night and ate it for breakfast. It was the only thing I had eaten when the vitamin fiasco was going on. Basically I fail at being a friend. I forgot to eat it let it melt, then after freezing it I eat it only to throw it up later... fail.

That was my exciting weekend. Fat gypsies and vomit. Go me!

Incomparable genius, yes I am talking about myself.

I tie-dyed a dress of mine in hope that it could be altered to make an outfit for the renaissance festival. I doubt it, but it wouldn't be a normal year if I wasn't scrounging to find stuff for a costume. The first time I went my mother made a felt squires outfit and I wore all black under it, it was a fucking hot day and I wanted to shoot myself.


The outfit that was not only hot but kinda on the fail side of life.


The second time I went to ren fest I spend the 72 hours before leaving, and a few hours in the car, sewing a three piece outfit. It was the first time I had ever taken on a sewing project by myself and it was the first time since I was a freshman in high school that I had touched a sewing machine. I want to say that I was a sophomore in college the second time I went. I also decided it would be a great idea to make the pattern myself. I swam in the cloths all day, I made the outfit for someone several times larger than me. The costume was also black and I about passed out from the heat.

Third times a charm right? Not for me. I, fortunately, had my mother make a gypsy skirt for me, it is freaking awesome! The only problem was that I have no shirts to go with it. None. Talk about a bad day. I ended up wearing my gypsy-esk costume to my fourth ren fest, but I refuse to wear it this year. I am tired of wearing the same costume, especially a costume that isn't even finished and that is patched together in a not gypsy way. It looks pretty bad.





My friends making me look better at life. They are pretty much awesome.

As I was going through the pictures I remembered how epically awesome the trip was. I will post about the awesome trip me and my friends took later.

Bad beginning

Last week my senior year of college started. This should have been a joyous moment, for I am not only senior, I am a graduating senior. Big difference. A huge difference. It means that in less than ten months I will be receiving a diploma that states I have successfully managed to make them believe I give a shit. Which frankly I don't.

This momentous day was horrendous, the entire week was just down right fucking awful. I wanted to shoot someone, preferably me. It was in the top of worst experiences ever, which is damn impressive because I have voluntarily done a lot of stupid things, like snort chili powder (in my defense I was two at the time and my siblings told me to smell something they had put a straw in. That was the dawning of my severe trust issues. I mean who makes a two-year-old sniff chili powder? Pixistix on the other hand were all my own fault).

The year started with me spilling coffee in my first class, which is also a math class that is at 8:30 in the morning. I know some people who do not think that is early, but for a college student it is not early, it is fucking early. It is so early I normally cannot string two words together coherently. I know I am not the most eloquent person ever, I am just substantially worse before 10 a.m.

It does not help that I am a staff member for my school newspaper (which is freaking awesome!) and stay up late trying to get articles written. The next morning I am usually screwed because I get less than 5 hours of sleep. Basically my schedule sucks and I am a very bitter vindictive person.

My boss is evil. He asked me, well not just me, to write a story about my college experience, specifically about the college I go to, the college I pray will be blown up when I wake up in the morning, the college that is evil and wont let me move off campus. I hate my school, hence my boss being evil for asking me to write something positive. Pure evil. My attitude towards the school is a problem because I work in the marketing department. What's even more funny is that a few other people I work with hate the school just as much and we are spend the day writing press releases about how awesome it is. I am positive that is one of the reason I want to borrow Fionia from Burn Notice. Her understanding of explosives would be helpful.

Anyway I had been meaning to tell about the creepy event of the school year. Almost two weeks have passed since school started and it has all been Bad. Not bad, Bad. I have not been quite in my bitching (shocking. Note: sarcasm). Turns out the deans had heard what a bad time I was having and made me a card and cookies. I almost didn't eat the cookies because I thought they might be poisoned. Like I said earlier, it has been a Bad few weeks.

My roommate ended up eating a cookie before I could warn her. When she didn't die, or get nasty sick, I decided they were safe to eat. I think I might be a little paranoid. Nah.

My new campaign

I hope everyone enjoys this as much as I did. This is the link to my new campaign idea. I hope you like it.

Death by Frufru

I spent my afternoon being forced into frufru abominations of death, aka bridesmaid dresses. My friend is getting married next June. She is picky about the dresses. Not picky like bridzilla, picky like she wants dresses that don't exist. She wants dresses with straps, but doesn't like any of the styles that come with straps. She doesn't want any cleavage showing, but that means necklines around the throat, which she doesn't like.

anyway it was an interesting endeavor. One that I don't really want to repeat but will have to.

Pet velociraptor

I woke up with a knot in my stomach, I had been dreaming about how a group of us had boughten a velociraptor. Yes I did just say we bought a velociraptor to keep as a pet. Most bizarre thing ever. In my defense I thought it was bad idea, but unfortunately one of my friends threatened to beat me up and steal my money unless I chipped in. I now own one quarter of a raptor, yes, because that makes me fell all warm in happy inside.

In my dream I was pretending to sleep so they wouldn't put the raptor in my room for the night. My friend had the thing attached to a purple leash. He was walking a raptor on a purple leash. And it was following with out killing him. Turned out that because I hadn't been at the adoption ceremony I wasn't considered a friend, so the stupid thing always tried to kill me. I ended up not being able to hang out with my friends because it was more important than my safety.

I am feeling disgruntled because my friends chose a velociraptor over me. This was a dream and that says quite a bit about me.

Anyway I will always remember to go to the adoption ceremony from now on when adopting raptors. Not like I will ever to that again.

The begining of the end

Today marks the first day of the end of days. Well the end of my days in college, before I can finally go on to bigger and better things. Students are slowly filtering back on campus and all of the new students are here for orientation week. I think it is hilariously funny that all new students are required to go to orientation for a week, and that it is a class credit that continues throughout the semester. I would have shot myself. So obnoxious.

As I am standing (more like siting) on the threshold of my final year in college I was wondering what I have learned these last three years. Has my time, effort, and money been wasted or will I walk away with a better understanding of the world?

I don't know. I can sit down and make a list of things that I have "learned" in school, but it is the lessons I have learned from my friends that will impact my life forever. It's not the class, it's not the teachers, it's not the books that I have learned the most from, it's from the people I spend everyday with, the friends that I hang out with. Those people are the ones that taught me what it means to be human. They taught me what it means to screw up, they walked me through the worst and best moments of my life, helping and supporting when I needed it most. In college I have faced some of my worst fears and at times I have failed. I Failed to choose the best outcome, instead I have hurt people, I have been hurt, and I have caused pain that could have been avoided. The only thing I was missing in the moments before choosing what would turn into something ugly, was experience. I try to live each day to the max, always looking for something new and interesting, but I have only lived 21 years.

Being young and idealistic makes choices difficult. I want to keep looking for the loop-hole, the one way everything will fall into place. I want everyone to be happy and working towards a better life, but that can't happen. Some people don't want to be happy and they will be damned if they don't take everyone down that road with them. Not like I am ever like that. Nope, not me.

If I said I was looking forward to all the wonderful things that will be happening this year I would be lying. The truth is that I am dreading the things that will happen this year. I am dreading the failed expectations, thankfully it won't be me failing this time. I am dreading the massive amount of work it will take to apply to grad school. I want to take my friends who are just super excited and combine our feelings so we are both hopeful while being realistic.

Cute! Cute! Cute!

I was feeling a little sad earlier and looked at pictures of these little cuties to cheer up.

That was trite

I looked back at my first ever facebook status update. It pretty much explains my personality to a T. "Michelle Current is totally going to fail her philosophy quiz" was my first ever status update, it was on January 15, 2009.

Finding that update was a pain inducing process, it required me to go through every update I had ever made ... They were not pleasant to read in retrospect. Over half of them made no sense, it was some inside joke that I have since forgotten. I don't think I had any updates that could be called intelligent or witty. All of my updates are trite, vapid, and self involved. I felt like one of those stupid bitches that doesn't take the time to focus on anything outside of their sphere of influence. It was an uncomfortable realization. I have always wanted to be funny, clever, and intelligent, but I am more bitchy, trite and vapid.

It is uncomfortable to be shown exactly how far I had fallen from what I want to be. It's like being slapped in the face, realizing that everything I have every done really didn't have any meaning, and it certainly didn't have any humor. I am not sure what to do with the information I was presented with. I can ignore it and continue to be a hypocrite that hates on people just like me, or I can accept what I am and move on, or (most likely) I can begrudgingly accept it and make very little progress towards being a better person.

I originally started blogging so that I would be writing consistently, but I haven't been putting any thought at all into my recent posts. Which basically makes it pointless to continue as I am, so look forward to a more introspective and interesting blog (maybe).

Quirky habits

I was re-watching Trigun last night and could not remember what episode Wolfwood dies in. This was a very upsetting realization. If I don't remember what episode he dies in I can't skip it. I have a bad habit of refusing to believe when one of my favorite characters gets killed. In most of my favorite shows they kill my favorite character. It is upsetting to watch my favorite character get killed, I refuse to do it twice.

I wish I could say that there are only a few series I do this with, but no, I avoid having to confront a fictitious characters death more than once. Unless I really disliked the character. I really wish that I could like the main character in show because then I would have a higher chance of my favorite character not dyeing.

Although that doesn't necessarily work. Spoiler Alert: in Gungrave my favorite character was the main character and he dies at the end. I am not sure that series should count though, technically Brandon Heat was already dead before the show started, he had just been resurrected (in a manor of speaking) to kill his best friend. Wow, that is depressing. Moral is to not watch depressing shows.

In case you were wondering (not likely, but to bad for you) here is a list of shows in which my favorite character dies:

Trigun
Gungrave
Full Metal Alchemist
Chrono Crusade
Burst Angel (Doesn't say that she dies, but implies it)
Cowboy Beebop (Also implication)
Naruto


That might not seem like a lot of shows, but I took each death personally. One of my previous roommates was very upset to find me crying hysterically when she had come back from class. The only thing I could say was "Th-Th-They,They Bo-They Both die dammit." She found it mildly disturbing that I was depressed for a week over a fictitious characters death. Like I said earlier I take my favorite characters deaths personally, it's like a slap in the face from authors. "I will create this marvelous person you will fall in love with only to kill them!" That is what an author tells me when a character dies.

Maybe I am to dramatic, take things to seriously, or am just deranged, but I empathize with characters on a level that leaves me stunned when they die.

Hence my not wanting to be forced to accept their impending demise when re-watching shows. But this is why I love Google, a little bit of research and I can be happily assured I will never again be traumatized by an unexpected death.

The easy life

Anyone who can stand up and walk without getting black spots in the corner of their vision, who can breath without coughing, and who can drink without feeling like someone is stabbing them in the throat has an easy life. Add a pounding headache to that list too. I hate being sick. Really hate it. Especially when all I want to do is sleep and things keep interrupting me. Makes me angry. And tired. And unpleasant to be around.

I just want to feel healthy and for the headache I have had the last few days to go away. Please. I would really appreciate being able to move without the fear of blacking out.

Moving sucks

I spent most of my morning moving stuff from one room to another. It made me want to throw everything out the window drench it in gasoline and toss a lit match on top. So much useless stuff. Well that is the crux of the problem. It really isn't useless stuff, there is just more stuff than I can need right now, but the minute I get an apartment it will become necessary. Freaking small dorm rooms that make me think I have to much crap when in reality the dorm is just tiny.

A bag of flour I had stored on a self in my room decided to go fuzzy and green. It was nasty. I still need to clean the room, but I think that was the reason for my getting sick so often this summer. I would really like to know what happened to make the flour bag go fluffy though. I think it might have just been the humidity, which I find really disturbing. I would like to live in a place where I can keep cooking supplies without the fear of them going green and fuzzy on me.

I hate humidity.

Spy vs. Spy

I had a date this weekend. A date with Michael Weston. It was awesome! Nothing really beats having a burn notice marathon. I finally finished second season, I am almost done with season 3. It's one of the best shows I have ever seen, probably because I have a covert ops fetish.

One thing that really pisses me off though is the character name overlap. One of the stories I am working on has a character named Samantha, called Sam, and the main antagonist's name is Jean-Pierre. Well the first episode I watched after naming those characters had a Sam, obviously, and a Jean-Pierre in it. The irony was to much. It almost made me cry. Then I got over it.

Okay that was a lie. I am totally not over it. But what can I do? I could change the names, but those are the characters names. Any other names wouldn't fit, which means I just need to get over it.

TGIF ... Grad school blues

I woke up this morning determined to get to work early and promptly went back to bed when my alarm went off. An extra five minutes became an hour, and then next thing I know it's past ten in the morning. Not a good thing to realize when the coffee hasn't even been made yet.

Work ended up with me looking into various graduate schools. They are freaking expensive! And the degree that I want, MFA in creative writing, has really competitive programs. Makes me want to cry. It would probably be better if I wasn't trying to get into the top schools in the country ... But if I am going to willing get more schooling it is not going to be at an unknown school. I am so done with that. Most of the candidates are on the east coast, surprise surprise, and have a max of ten students they allow into the program every year. This doesn't make it sound very inviting to me. Another problem is my GPA, it is not above a 3.0 right now. It really needs to be above a 3.0 for me to be taken even remotely seriously during this process. This won't be a problem if the deadline is after January, I can get my grades up in one semester. I can. But if any of the application deadlines are before January I am screwed.

Basically this whole process is going to kick my ass.

Happy Friday!

Idiots and chocolate

I recently read an interview of M. Night Shyamalan, he had no idea how bad his movie sucked. No idea. Conclusion: He is a dumb-ass who can't write and has no idea what reality is. Proof of his inadequacies as a human. The last Airbender was a tragic piece of shit. It was movie that immediately lost any potential for goodness when Shyamalan decided to write it.

On a side note: I was seriously sick yesterday and had no desire to blog. Correction I forgot while fading in and out of consciousness that I was trying to blog everyday. So sorry, my bad.

A wonderful thing happened yesterday, a friend bought me the most delectable chocolates, Belgium truffles rolled in dark chocolate. So good! Unfortunately I really shouldn't eat any because I am still sick, but when I get better I can eat them! Thanks sweetie.

Update: On top of being sick I have decided that I need to limit the number of posts written by Sassy ... This is much more difficult then I thought it was going to be. But to be productive at work it really needs to happen.

loud noises are evil

When I was younger I used to be a morning person, when I hit middle school I became a night owl, in high school I was forced to be a morning person (I had a 6:30 a.m. Calculus class, it was evil). Now that I am in college (almost done! Only a year left) I have become something of an enigma with my sleeping patterns. It's pretty random. Once I am awake I am awake, it doesn't matter what time of day it is, it just depends on how much sleep I have had previously, when I get to go to bed again, and most importantly how I was woken up.

I hate loud noises. I hate vacuums. I hate alarms. I hate anything that disrupts my concentration. I hate being woken up by a chain saw at 7:30 a.m.

There should be a law that doesn't allow people to use loud machinery before 10 in the morning. It was even worse because they would stop for five minutes and I would think they were going to be done. After being lulled in to a false sense of quite I would be rudely awoken by the noises again. This happened several times, I wanted to chuck a grenade out my window so the loud noises would stop.

To top it off I spilled creamer all over my desk, the desk that I had just cleaned. Grrr. After going to work I found out that the windows are being replaced, and they were using machines to cut the wood out... today was just not fun. I hate loud noises. I know I should be thankful I can hear, but it would be really nice to have real selective hearing.

"Coffee isn't its own food group?"

Being a college student means very little money, unless your parents support you. Very little money means cutting corners, however there are some corners that shouldn't be cut. I have been trying to cut back on eating so that my food bill will go down, not like it is very high at the moment, so I randomly skip meals (mostly breakfast, if I eat breakfast I eat more all day). I start of the day with coffee, an entire pot, by lunch I want more coffee (this is normal, but I don't normally make any) and around supper time I again want to drink coffee. This is bad because on the weekends I have started to substitute coffee for meals, all the meals. I might eat three meals during the entirety of a weekend.

This is reflected by more poor performance on Mondays. I can hardly drag my ass out of bed, I get up hours after my alarm goes off, I can't focus until after lunch. Slowly as the week goes on I become more human, but then sure enough the weekend rolls around and I am lucky to get one square meal... This is not a healthy process.

I should probably be more worried about this than I am, but that would require me to put effort into something. Since it is Monday I will not be able to get anything done till after lunch.

The end of an era

Today is a bitter sweet day. My favorite website was taken down last night, thanks to publishing licenses they had to stop. It was a website that was by fans for fans. It was a testament to the better parts of human nature. Most people don't even take time to smile when walking past others one the street, but then people on onemanga go out of their way to scan, clean, translate, and typeset manga so that fans in other countries could read the most recent chapters. It is a great community that, hopefully, will continue to be a welcoming place to all manga fans.

As an avid manga reader today is a very sad day. I can understand the legalities, but the communication major in me wants to know why a different solution couldn't be worked out. I want to know why the publishers weren't even willing to discuss different alternatives. The best way for a disagreement to be settled is for everyone to sit down and hash it out. There has to be a better alternative than just shutting down the site. They obviously don't understand the first thing about the fan community.

Onemanga wasn't doing it for money, they weren't doing it for personal benefits, they were doing all that work because they wanted to share something they love. Because being a manga fan means being a part of something bigger, it means being a part of a diverse world were the only thing that matters is a mutual love of a great story.

Thank you publishers for not taking the fans of your work seriously. We really appreciate it.

Crazy drivers

I had thought that my various trips to California had shown me the craziest drivers in the world. I was wrong. I was driving around town a few days ago and I pull up to a stop light where the car in front of me is in both lanes. It was a two lane road and the dude was just chilling in the middle. I didn't know what to do so I stopped a normal length behind him. The next car that pulled up (I was in the left lane they were in the right lane) and forced his way up next to the crazy middle of the lane driver. By doing this they blocked the right turning lane. I hate people who do that.

I also hate left lane cruisers. I want to carry a rocket launcher in my car on long road trips so I can blow up the left lane cruisers. Especially the ones that are going ten miles UNDER the speed limit. Seriously, they need to stop.

Yes I am going to pass you pull in front of you and then slow waaaaaaay down. Cuz I am awesome! I HATE drivers like that. Omg I want to kill them too.

I just want to forcibly move any driver that is keeping me from reaching my destination in a reasonable time (meaning significantly faster than should be possible).

And people who don't use their blinkers. Why do we have blinkers if you aren't going to use them? "I'll Kill you!"

I don't particularly like people who cut me off... But if they use their blinker I don't get mad. However if they don't use their blinker I want to ram the back of their car.

Best day of the week

As I was bumming in my room this morning (I haven't been feeling kinda sick) I was struck with a brilliant idea for a story. I can't tell you anything now, but it is going to be the most epic story ever! Not an epic like Lord of Rings, more like the book has a completely surprising ending where after reading people will be all like "That was an epic ending!" The totally will! If I ever write it...

I need a good name for the main character. That is a huge issue holding up the writing process at the moment.

I will post when I figure her name out.

TGIF... I want candy

I had a really cool inspiring thought for the day... but then I put it somewhere and haven't been able to find it since. I did that with my water bottled yesterday. I accidentally took it home instead of my travel mug, so I got up in the morning and had nothing to put my coffee in (I decided to not take that as a sign that I shouldn't have made coffee that morning, instead I decided that it meant I should go to work later... after I had finished drinking my coffee).

I forgot to take my water bottle with me to work (which is only necessary because we ran out of paper cups) so after lunch I was going to grab it. It had been sitting on my desk all morning, but while eating I managed to pick it up and move it. The problem was that I didn't remember where I set it. Even worse I walked out of my room without it. I ended up walking back up the stairs to try and find it. It took me ten minutes to find the stupid thing. I live in a dorm room that is smaller than a 10X10 storage unit (not really, but almost) I had recently cleaned my room and still could not find the bloody thing. I was incised. Ended up being under a pile of cloths I hadn't put away yet. The stupid thing is that I had looked through the cloths and some how missed it. I don't know how I couldn't see a bright pink water bottle in the middle of my dark cloths.

Anyway. I have been super spacey lately. I can't seem to remember anything.

So happy thing of the day



Is it not the cutest thing ever! Well maybe not ever. But it is super kawaii. Makes me happy. So does candy. I want candy. But I can't have any right now, cuz I am getting sick... *sniff*

So my boss is having vespers at his house tonight and all the kids on campus are invited. I am not sure what the rule of thumb is... Do I go? If I don't go is that really bad? Such an awkward situation. So what do I do?

Shenanigans

I am calling Shenanigans on one of my friends. I do not say everything that I think. I really don't. I only say about a 1/3 of what I am thinking at any given time. Of course I am constantly thinking and critiquing things. It's not my fault if normal people have one thought for my three. Or four. If I could remember anything I would have been a great private detective. But I don't. Which makes me kind of sad. I always wanted to be a private detective or a bounty hunter. They basically do the same thing. I was enamored with the idea as a child, I really wanted to be out in the streets fighting crime and bringing down the bad guys. I would be the best one out there, the girl every culprit feared. The girl that never stopped once she had a target, I would hunt them down to the ends of the earth if that's what it took.

I wanted to be a modern Sherlock Holmes. Or Cat Woman. Yes I do realize that she is a cat burglar and as such would probably have a bounty on her head. But she is damn sexy. She makes crime look hot. I remember the time I first realized that if I was going to live a life like my awesome Cat Woman then I would actually have to steal stuff. It was a bad day. That was the day I finally had to say good-bye to full body leather outfits. Not that I have ever owned or worn one, for which my family is very grateful, but I had to hang up the dream on the metaphorical peg.

Occasionally when I am feeling nefarious I will go to the subconscious closet and pull out my childhood dreams, shake off the brain dust and prance around pretending to be a defender of justice that has a fetish for works of art and can't help but steal them. Talk about giving myself a weird guilt complex. Hero of justice needs counseling for kleptomania, yeah that would make a great comic... Hmm... That is a great idea.

See I didn't talk about any of that while at work which proves my hypothesis that I have more thoughts on average per second that normal people. Meaning that even if I do say what I am think more than normal people I am still not saying more than a 1/3 of my thoughts! HahA! I win.

Fell off the bandwagon

Day 2 of no coffee: Didn't happen. I had coffee this morning and it was the most delicious thing ever!

I also realized that there are certain things I can't eat in the morning. Anything super sweet makes me gag if I eat it before 10 a.m., this does not include chocolate though. Not entirely sure why chocolate is okay but toast and jam isn't. I wanted to eat something today before I went to work and the only thing easy to make was non-toasted toast and jam, basically bread and jam. I would have toasted it but we aren't allowed to have toasters in the dorm.

So I put homemade blueberry jam on the bread and took a huge bite expecting and explosion of delicious sensations in my mouth. But no, it was like someone took the super nasty wedding cake frosting and jammed a whole pack down my throat. I am not sure I will be able to eat anything sweet for the rest of the day. It was nasty sweet. I still ate it. Because as a completely broke person that is what you do, but still.

It was even worse becuase I was expecting untold deliciousness and I got sickly sweet. Not a good start to any morning.

But I had coffee! So it's all good.

Update: Homemade blueberry muffins may be good, but I can't eat them without gagging. I tried really hard to enjoy it and eat it all with out gagging. It was a futile gesture, I was doomed to not be able to eat anything sweet today. I have maxed out my sweet meter. This is just unreal.

Inflicting my own hell

I woke up this morning and decided that I have become too addicted to coffee and that I need to stop drinking it every morning. So I didn't have any coffee this morning. That doesn't mean that I haven't had any caffeine. I had English Breakfast tea, which has caffeine in it, but it wasn't very good. It kinda tasted like stale trough water. Not pleasant.

I really want coffee. I can't think through the daze of desire. I want coffee. Which makes me think that not drinking it this morning was a good idea. But I really want it... But it seems like I really am getting addicted. But it's soooo good. I should buy decafe coffee, then I could drink it without feeling guilty. But it's such a yummy guilty pleasure.

This marks day one of me not consuming coffee. So far still alive. This is disproving theory of death with lack of coffee. Not a good sign for the guilty pleasure side of the argument.

On a side note listening to Disney music seems to relieve some of the withdrawal symptoms. That leaves much to be questioned about Disney.

Update: Not drinking coffee gives me a serious headache in the afternoon. Disney music does not help headaches, neither does Miley Cyrus. Whose name is Smiley Cyrus without the S... I feel like an idiot for not realizing this sooner.

Update: Pretending that water is coffee does not work. Neither does pretending water is alcoholic... The headache is still pounding against my temples.

I am gonna kill you!

Who do I hate? Myself. Why? Because life is evil. Right now I feel like I will never be able to write professionally and I should just give up while I am ahead of the game. Not like anyone actually gets ahead, they just think they do. There is a very good reason for my pessimistic attitude. I have been working on an article for work, the same one I drug my ass out of bed early to write, all day and most of yesterday. I have spent probably close to three days writing the bloody thing. I was having a hard time writing the leed (normally spelled lead, but because journalists can't ever share we get our own spelling). So I did what I normally do in this situation, I asked for help. Then I went to lunch, cuz I was starving.

When I got back from lunch my article had a better leed, better structure and all around was just fucking better. If this was not a normal occurrence it wouldn't have bothered me, but since this happens every time I write something it makes me angry. I spent hours slaving over an article only to have it completely revamped in less than an hour. I don't even understand why they hired me. They obviously can write it by themselves, write it better and in less time, so even bother hiring someone to write for them?

It just makes me realize what utter crap my writing is.

Maybe I really do need to just stop. At least stop writing happy articles, I am pretty sure I could kick someones ass writing satire. FML.

This is just great

There is nothing in this world as awesome as dragging my ass out of bed early to get an article done for work only to find out that it doesn't need to be done until tonight... so aggravating. I don't think I would have minded over much except for the fact that I was at work before 8 a.m. today. That is freakishly early. Normally I am not even out of bed by 8. There is rarely a time I have the brain power to be a functional person before 10 in the morning. Seriously.

Worst part is that it was totally my misunderstanding. I thought the article was going to be late, but then found out it wasn't going to be late until tonight... so I had all day to work on it. This makes me grumpy. Very grumpy. It also makes me want more caffeine. More COFFEE!

I want coffee ice cream.

Update: Getting up early does funky things to my body, I can't tell if I am sick or just rejecting morning. Either way I feel like puking, not a pleasant feeling when trying to write a feel good article.

Please don't hate me

One thing I had not expected to encounter when doing my internship this summer was writing stories about my friends. I am not sure why this thought never occurred to me, we all go to the same college and I am writing articles for my college this summer, so it would make sense that I would write a few articles about friends. It doesn't help that all of my friends live with jam packed schedules and plenty of responsibility. I kinda wish they were all slackers like me.

I had a difficult decision to make. I was writing a story about Bestfriend's internship. The problem is that when I was interviewing her she talked like she would to me and not to a reporter, so I can now directly quote her, or I can para quote her so she won't hate me later. But if I know that she would say it that way is it really Franken quoting?

Franken (like Frankenstein, get it?) quoting is when a PR person patches a quote, so it isn't a direct quote but can be used as one... It happens quite a bit. People get angry when you quote them saying something stupid. Not that I blame them, I want to sound as good as possible when being quoted.

The number one rule of writing is...

If you want to stay friends with people don't write about them using their name... And if you are saying something bad about them don't let them read it. Ever.

Or you could just never write, that is much easier.

Evil publishing things

I was having a good day until I went to my favorite website and found out it is being closed. So ANGRY! I can understand why most of the website is being taken down, sort of. The site is a place were fans of manga have gathered for years, and now I find out that due to licensing issues they have to take down the site. This was a huge fan collaboration that took manga that had recently been published in Japan, scanned it, cleaned it, translated it, and then posted it were people in other countries could read it before it was available.

It was a great thing, a wonderful collaboration that showed how people could come together and over come any hurdle. It was a place were it didn't matter who you were, or what you had done in the past so long as you loved manga. And now because some jerk wad it is all going to go away. *tear*

This is me being very angry because I will need to wait over two years for the publishing companies in America to catch up with where Japan is now! AAAAAAHHH! So annoying. Grr.

Pictures I drew at work, wait I mean during lunch

This illustrates part of the picture book I drew for Bestfriend. The only difference is that I forgot I had these and redrew them with colored pencils that I stole from Bestfriend. She is awesome.

It was after lunch and I really wanted coffee.



I didn't have time to brew another pot of coffee... Then Bam! I saw my instant coffee.



I was excited to get coffee.



I got lazy and didn't want to finish drawing... it takes to much time. So until later this is going to not be finished. Okay?

Latest obsession

recently I have become obsessed with drawing things. Not like drawing like an adult, but drawing like a little kid again. It is super fun. I got so caught up in the drawings that I made Bestfriend a book with drawings based off of her favorite blog. It was a lot of fun. I illustrated my epic battle with instant coffee. That stuff is seriously nasty. So gross. I wanted to gargle hydrogen peroxide to get the taste out of my mouth.

Have you ever tried gargling hydrogen peroxide? That stuff is lethal. I had to gargle it once in high school when I had a super bad throat infection. I got it from my boyfriend at the time, the sucky part was that I didn't even get it from kissing him. Stupid boy got me sick and I didn't even get anything fun out of it. Grr.

So Yeah, this coffee was seriously nasty stuff. I think it must have been ground up cow dung. It was soo bad. I decided to illustrate my battle with not puking all over my computer at work. It was really fun. I will scan in the pictures and post them, it will be awhile since I don't have a scanner. Some how while I was drawing last night I decided to set ninjas against the coffee beans. I am not sure how this happened, but my little hissy fit turned into an all out war between coffee beans and ninjas.

The ninjas won. Of course. I am super excited to give the story book to Bestfriend though, I hope she likes it.

One small problem is that I did get carried away and quite a bit of profanity in the book... maybe she won't notice.