Shenanigans

I am calling Shenanigans on one of my friends. I do not say everything that I think. I really don't. I only say about a 1/3 of what I am thinking at any given time. Of course I am constantly thinking and critiquing things. It's not my fault if normal people have one thought for my three. Or four. If I could remember anything I would have been a great private detective. But I don't. Which makes me kind of sad. I always wanted to be a private detective or a bounty hunter. They basically do the same thing. I was enamored with the idea as a child, I really wanted to be out in the streets fighting crime and bringing down the bad guys. I would be the best one out there, the girl every culprit feared. The girl that never stopped once she had a target, I would hunt them down to the ends of the earth if that's what it took.

I wanted to be a modern Sherlock Holmes. Or Cat Woman. Yes I do realize that she is a cat burglar and as such would probably have a bounty on her head. But she is damn sexy. She makes crime look hot. I remember the time I first realized that if I was going to live a life like my awesome Cat Woman then I would actually have to steal stuff. It was a bad day. That was the day I finally had to say good-bye to full body leather outfits. Not that I have ever owned or worn one, for which my family is very grateful, but I had to hang up the dream on the metaphorical peg.

Occasionally when I am feeling nefarious I will go to the subconscious closet and pull out my childhood dreams, shake off the brain dust and prance around pretending to be a defender of justice that has a fetish for works of art and can't help but steal them. Talk about giving myself a weird guilt complex. Hero of justice needs counseling for kleptomania, yeah that would make a great comic... Hmm... That is a great idea.

See I didn't talk about any of that while at work which proves my hypothesis that I have more thoughts on average per second that normal people. Meaning that even if I do say what I am think more than normal people I am still not saying more than a 1/3 of my thoughts! HahA! I win.