Life is Hell

I have been having a few issues with my living arrangements, a friend made the mistake of asking me what I hated about it. Here is the list:

I want my own bathroom and kitchen, and I want to be able to control the god damn temperature in my room. I want windows that close on the first try and blinds that aren't nasty as shit. I want to be able to go to bed when I want without the fucking ra waking me up. I want a sink that is bigger than my ass. I want closer parker
parking. I want to be able to use any fucking door to exit that I feel like.
I want a room a that is bigger than a fucking storage unit. I want to be able to have a place to do homework where no one will interrupt me. I also want to be able to sleep with out being interrupted by assholes who think it is funny to blare their music in the parking lot at 1 o'clock in the fucking morning. I want to be able to paint my walls and have furniture that moves. I want to have my own room and I want to have my own writing studio. I want to make my own choices with health issues. I want internet that works. I want to live my life without a fucking dean breathing down my neck.

Basically every thing about the fucking dorm I am living in pisses me off. I hate it. I wake up every morning praying that I will have fallen into a coma while sleeping and am now over 22 so I can move out. I wake up hoping something tragic will happen that causes me to drop out of school until I am old enough to move "off campus" which is not off campus is fucking on campus housing, but no we can't call a dog a dog because then the school would actually have to let students live their own lives instead of living in the fucking bubble.